NO SEX SINCE 1955
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major and asked, 'Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very Serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, ''It looks like you have seen a lot of
''Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?'
'1955,' he replied.
'Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need To chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him.
Afterwards, she leaned against his bare chest and Said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955.'
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; it's only 2130 now.'
(Gotta love military time)
you don't ever know!
My kids play Challenger baseball, a division of little league that's for kids with disabilities. To put this in context we live in a very conservative area and I often feel out of step around here. Anyway, when we went to the game tonight I wore the Grateful Dad shirt I got recently. There is one Dad there that I've seen for several years and he seemed "pretty local" to me. He came up to me this evening and said "Hey man, how many GD shows did you see?" I replied, "Unfortunately only 8". He said "I went to 70!" I was totally shocked. Didn't get to talk much more tonight as we both had kids to tend to but I'm looking forward to sharing stories with him when we get the chance! Who'd "a thunk it"!
it's a miracle you got that fine dog hair collection back, along with the car.
afterall.....we ARE everywhere.....!
I should preface this by saying that my car, a venerable Subaru that figured prominently in a car theft drama last year, used to belong to David Gans, and that the DMV was somewhat puzzled that I wanted to keep someone else's personalized plates on the car. But the plates say TNX JER, after all.
And normally they attract no attention, either. This is Oakland, after all.
But today I was out doing errands and stopped at a light when the guy next to me starts gesticulating frantically. I roll down my window. He commends me on my plates. I say thanks. He says he is at that moment playing 5-8-77 on his car stereo and is feeling most thankful to Jer.
The light changed. We waved again and went our separate ways.
Tell me have ya seen her
Talked about so many things
Trippy hippy chick girl
Dressed in scarves and rings
Maybe it was the acid
Maybe it was the vibe
But for the better part of last night
Damn we were alive
I know she's out here somewhere
Walking through the stalls
Looking for seashells and tapestries
To hang upon her walls
Strange girl smelled of incense
Rocked my fucking world
Whirling like a dervish
Have you seen this girl
i just got home from a 10 day family vacation in hilton head. the excuse for going was a cousin's wedding- the rehearsal dinner was on a 'round the island cruise, the wedding was oceanside. so, we go into harbour town to board the cruise, and i see a grateful dead flag wavin in the breeze. when i find the boat, i see the most beautiful sailboat- huge, shiny, awesome.
never got to meet the owner(s). no one knew whose boat it was- but it was a frequent visitor they all said...
anyway, someone is out there with a gorgeous craft and the perfect flag...
I have seen the Dead many times and met the sweetest folks on tour! I am settled in to my place on the River in Minnesota and looking for that kind lady to join me. We'll take in some shows, tend to the garden, and host some sweet gatherings. This story is about who I am going to meet not who I have met! I have two Tickets for May 4 2009 Chicago Dead ... I need to sell them or find a beauty to join me!