but I do know that if someone, anyone murdered one of my children, no amount of cash compensation, official whitewashing or coerced or induced "agreement" would ever sate my appetite to see the responsible party(ies) brought to justice. Requiring that the employers of these criminals pay a fine for the actions of their employees in no way remedies, mitigates or begins to hold to individual account those directly responsible. And to my way of thinking, if someone willfully and intentionally murders another, their life is forfeit. They have set the standard for themselves by their own actions. But maybe that's just me.
On the larger scale, we ultimately get the government that we deserve. Jefferson was not wrong. "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." As members of a society, it is our responsibility to stand up and speak out against abuse of authority in the hands of instruments of governmental authority. The fundamental premise of democracy is that the government serves the population by consent, not fiat. Ultimately we are all in charge as long as we remember to be in charge. And if we fail to do so, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the condition we find ourselves in. It is every person's responsibility, and the very least we owe each other.
Conversation is always more interesting than recitation, so speak your mind and not someone else's.
This is a tough one for sure. Like I said in my earlier post, no one will ever know what it was like that night, all of the frightening circumstances of that night and Evster you shouldn't feel guilty. Police brutality is scary (well police in general are scary) and if you are younger which you had to be 20 years ago :-) it is very scary to confront the police. I just want you to know that we understand that.
But in my opinion if my son/daughter were murdered and there were no witnesses 20 years ago (I am assuming there couldn't have been a witness otherwise those bastards would be in prison??) but one showed up 20 years later... I think I'd want to hear that witnesses story. Would I ask why didn't you come forward earlier ... yes ... again this is hard to say without being in the person's shoes, I think I'd be a little upset but I would definitely want to hear your (the witness) account of what really happened that night. Again we don't know all the circumstances (or very little) of the case and the settlement so that makes it very difficult to come up with a rationale decision. Thats the difficult part of this.
"Escaping through the lily fields, I came across an empty space. It rainbow then exploded, left a bus stop in its place. The bus come by and I got on, thats when it all began. It was Cowboy Neal at the wheel of the bus to never ever land"
makes perfect sense man, I think that is a natural HUMAN reaction / defense mechanizm for seeing / experiencing such tragic / traumatic shit.
I crawled into a ball and never let myself face it. I buried it. Like waking from a nightmare, after a few minutes, it goes away. I ran from it that night hoping to get out of there unharmed, and I guess I just kept running. It was too intense. I pretended it didn't happen. It was too real. I had to block it out. Now I feel like I must speak before it dies with me. Not that I'm terminally ill, and not meaning to be dramatic, but I'm old enough that it doesn't scare me anymore. I'm not scared anymore. I guess that's it.
I guess I just buried it. Joining this forum brought back who I was (the Deadhead I used to be). Then it came flooding back. If that makes any sense.
what kept you quiet about this until now?
gotta ask. been curious about that, I apologise in advance if you don't want to explain.
"On the other hand, I saw a fucking murder."
good point. I hear you man.
whatever you decide to do, whatever happens, please keep us informed.
I guess at this point, considering what you've said, that while the family has settled the civil case, do we go after the cops?
I wish I could speak with them. Know if they want it.
On the other hand, I saw a fucking murder. Do the family's wishes trump the bigger picture? I feel for them with all of my heart. Truly. But isn't it our duty to bury the bastards? I mean, people have been taking apart the JFK assassination for decades. Doesn't Patrick Shanahan deserve the same passion. The same justice? What makes him less important?
This is what goes through my head when I think "Nah, leave it."
No cantact info for the family so far I guess.
yeah, man. it is a big dilema.
sorry I flip flopped, but when we think about the big picture, it does get pretty fucking complicated.
when I first read your story, before we heard it was settled, my initial reaction was shock and anger and the need for action to seek justice, or at least more publicity of the story. actually, when i first read your story, I didn't notice that this was from 1989... (I was never good at them reading comprehension tests,)
anyway, I re-read your account, noticed this was not from the tour this spring, and after I looked into it a bit, found that NY Times story...
if you sent the media letters, they would probably want to contact the family to get their reaction, etc...
I don't know how I would feel if i was a family member of Patrick and I got a phone call 20 years on about this -- can't even imagine, whether the phone call was from the press or from a witness.
if I speculate a bit more, the family may get totally bummed out at you for not coming forward back then. or they may be glad, and want you to testify (again, like i said a few times before; if any further legal action is even possible) who can say how the family will feel?
right now, alls I can say is, I don't know what is best. any advice I might offer now would sound like a banal platitude because I just don't know...
where are PK, badger, Oroboros, lilly, rider, mary, hal et al (to name a few) and the other smart, empathetic guys and gals here?
input at this point would certainly be appreciated.
You have me thinking Joe. Is it better to drag them through this? I'm preparing to send my letter to the press in hopes of generating some interest, but now you've got me thinking.
Man I wish I could get in contact with the family. Would they want this?
Also, can one witness beat the cops collective story? I know where I was when it happened, and frankly there really wasn't anyone else with the view I had. The other witnesses were screened by the line of cops. I think I was the only one with a front row view.