I'm one of those "later in life" Deadheads; I knew of them but didn't really get into them until the early 90's, through a woman who became my wife. One day she brought home several Dick's Picks sets and my musical world was forever changed.
The marriage didn't survive, but my love for the Dead did. My current s/o prefers top 40 and Eminem (gasp) and like many I've seen in these posts, just doesn't get my love for the Grateful Dead, though I've tried many times to explain it. We both work from home and from the moment I start my day, I'm listening to the boys via radioio.com. She listens to whatever she listens to, and it seems to work out reasonably well. She's stopped asking why I like the Dead, and I have stopped trying to understand the appeal of Eminem. It's just easier that way...
"Goodbye, Mama and Papa,
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter,
Either side of the hill"
I get to listen to the Dead while I work in my studio on my illustrations when nobody is around.
Hey, it works... dead music is very inspirational to me. My man just doesn't get it (he's a jazz/blues man) and my sweet funny little girl loves Hannah Montana. So this is the way
it is and the way it will be.
Someone above mentioned overdoing it with GD music and turning someone off. Yes this can be done. Happened to me at one point and I *like* the Grateful Dead so I feel for those on the other side of the fence.
Buddy of mine was exclusive, all GD all the time as a kind of continuous life soundtrack. A great guy, truely a fine human being but being around this music every waking moment was oppressive after a while. Especially since the only music making device we had out in the country where we were at the time was a little one-speaker language-lab-type mono cassette deck. This poor, ancient, 70s vintage machine with the big buttons and the eject that made the tape sproing out the top, was literally played to death. On its last legs the heads were filthy and the mechanical parts were noisily grinding themselves to bits with a loud whirring sound, as my friend continued to force it into service. The general effect was what the Grateful Dead would have sounded like if they had been playing underwater with a guy using an electric shaver in the foreground. The "music" was unintelligable but vaguely familiar. Interestingly I retained an appreciation the Grateful Dead, their mystery and their moving evocative music and went on trading and going to shows and winding up in this wing of cyberspace. However I have sympathy for beleaguered SOs listening to that 28 version "Truckin' Compilation" tape all the way to Cleveland in the car.
Yesterday this day's madness did prepare.
I can relate to all these stories. My ex-wife was no Dead Head either. Most of the time, she called it "noise". She was a Beatlemaniac. Thankfully, we had a love of Blues in common.
But, she's gone now, and I'm searching for another soulmate who is into the Dead, (amongst other incompatible and mutually exclusive criteria).
Well, reading this makes me feel like there are other people out there similar to me. I met my husband after I had given up tour and going to lots of shows, but still was a deadhead at heart. My husband and I are pretty much complete opposites. He is very serious, intellectual, neat and tidy, and by the book. Well, it wasn't until we had really together that I brought up the dead. Now you are going to hate this, turns out he was one of the evil vendors on tour. Yes, don't kill me. He came over from India with 18 dollars in his pocket and saw that he could sustain himself selling things from India on tour. He says he never went into the shows, but he knows alot about the culture. His favorite song is Stella Blue. So, Im in a situation where I am married to someone that 1) was frowned upon by "real" deadheads, 2) knows about ALOT about tour and the dead but wasn't really a deadhead. It's wierd. Its funny where life takes you. He listens to alot of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Dwight Yoakham... He gives the Dead credit for being musicians, especially in this day and age where that seems to be a dying breed. But he is not a deadhead, and will never be one. I listen mostly in my car on the way to work (40 minute commute one way) and on my ipod.
I shouldn't say complete opposites but pretty close. I love the Dead, She loves Tesla. I went to a Tesla show with her and 2 friends to be able to say that I had gone. I dealt with it, not bad actually. They played Truckin, I would never have guessed, so that part was really good, but the Tesla heads that kept bumping into me spilling my beer part I could do without. All in all not a bad evening, and she loved me even more, just for the effort!! I took her to see RatDog as the Dead weren't around anymore when we got together. She liked watching all the heads more than listening to the music. I wish she had been able to have seen the Dead, I don't know if that would have changed anything or not, but at least she would be able to understand better. But we love each other and Lord I can see that it is true!!!!
I married a disco queen - and I used to have a bumper sticker that said "Disco Sucks". It generally works ok, though I don't get to listen to the Dead much around her. I did take her to a couple shows, and I think she got the groove, but come intermission she was sure it had to be over. LOL
She's a trained dancer, so she laughs at my moves, and swears I hear beats that aren't there. I tried to tell her to listen for the beats in the spaces between, but I don't think it translates properly to the uninitiated..
However, I get to infect our baby daughter, so the last laughs on her!
Great commentaries. So relatable. Hub and I are jokingly dubbed "the Gucci...and the Grateful Dead". He's Brooks Brothers....Im Birkenstocks, but hey--I have learned not to question what works. Have to give him Kudos for trekking to shows with me, listening to jams on long trips...( quote, "what are these songs, like two hours long?) and quietly accepting my incense burning, occasional trade off of $$ perfume he bestows on me for a dab of patchouly, and my predictable summer wardrobe of hippie dresses.
He had never been to any form of Dead show until "The Dead" in Bristow--'04. I laughed at his comments that "there will be like, 30 people there" ( 10,000, actually). He marveled at the Shakedown St scene before the show, and by the end of it all...I think I detected a tiny bit of sway on his part toward the end. He purchased some Dicks Picks sets upon departure---but swears to this day, the Dead are not his thing....hey, it's never too late hun. :)
When my husband and I first met, he was a jazz dj on the local volunteer radio station. Not just any jazz, but hard bop. He believes his musical tastes have not only evolved from rock to jazz, but that hard bop is superior in some way to just about all other forms of music. I think he is a music snob.
The thing is, though, he is so awesome, that he still took me to every show I ever wanted to go to. Even a few years ago, at Bonnaroo, when it was storming, and he was cold and wet, and wanted to go back to our tent, I begged him to stay for the second half of the show, and he stayed. We try to share music time in the car, and I really enjoy listening to Pharoah Sanders, Ornette Coleman, and Coltrane...now. There have a been a few times even when he has put the Dead on real loud on Saturday mornings to get me going. So even if his motives for turning it on and up were a little ulterior...I still really liked it.
He certainly understands musical obession. I have to say that I feel pretty blessed that he can dig it sometimes on some occassions, even if he doesn't enjoy it quite as much as I do.
It's caused fights between me and my significant other. we've both got our own ipods, and they overlap in some respects, but hers contains much more popular music. She can tolerate jamming, for instance she like Umphrey's McGee, but she'd rather listen to something she can sing...which isn't the Dead, or Phish, or anything that i'd rather be listening to. So, it caused a couple of minor fights between us in the car, but otherwise it's not too bad, we're learning to tolerate eachother's music, which is good.