My adorable wife has little or no interest in the Dead, indeed she has little interest in music at all… she never went through the teenage phase where music was ‘so important’ never had a crush on a pop star, never followed any band, never found an album ‘crucial’, never signed up to the orthodoxy of what is or is not cool. As a result her taste such as it is, is utterly random, with equal interests in individual tracks she happens to like from any genre.
Another consequence of this is that she has not wrecked her hearing (its way too late for me to tell between this MP3 and lossless business) ….I used to take her to a few gigs, but she ends up in pain, stuffing bits of tissue in her ears or waiting outside till its over. When I put the Dead on at what I feel an acceptable volume, she takes the dog in the garden to protect both their ears.
Sounds like a real straight eh?…well you’re so wrong there …she is as free a spirit as anyone….just got there by a different path...that makes her all the more fun to be with.
So how does it work with the Dead…well headphones of course and the work we both do means that we spend a lot of the time (around 1/3) apart, so I have the place to myself often enough to turn it up (the dog automatically goes upstairs when he sees me approach the CD player). When I am away I stack up the laptop and ipod with GD goodies. She treats my GD obsessions with tolerant amusement and has no fear that I will run off with a younger woman because I already did that (with her!). Just the best!
Sounds like the Dead to me. Throw in a little folk, a little rock and roll and you've got The Dead
My gal was ripping me about how I needed to get real and "stop listening to DRUG music".
My argument was that she had too many preconceived notions about The GD.
She is a good girl but at times incredibly shallow (of course, I have my faults,too). She was telling me that I needed to leave The Grateful Dead behind and grow up. I was listening to Sirius 17 (a satellite Jam Band Channel/GD Channel) on my boat while all this was going on. She said "if I could just start listening to songs like this" things would be okay. It was The GD doing "Loose Lucy".
She's warming to them.
I'm one of those "later in life" Deadheads; I knew of them but didn't really get into them until the early 90's, through a woman who became my wife. One day she brought home several Dick's Picks sets and my musical world was forever changed.
The marriage didn't survive, but my love for the Dead did. My current s/o prefers top 40 and Eminem (gasp) and like many I've seen in these posts, just doesn't get my love for the Grateful Dead, though I've tried many times to explain it. We both work from home and from the moment I start my day, I'm listening to the boys via radioio.com. She listens to whatever she listens to, and it seems to work out reasonably well. She's stopped asking why I like the Dead, and I have stopped trying to understand the appeal of Eminem. It's just easier that way...
"Goodbye, Mama and Papa,
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter,
Either side of the hill"
I get to listen to the Dead while I work in my studio on my illustrations when nobody is around.
Hey, it works... dead music is very inspirational to me. My man just doesn't get it (he's a jazz/blues man) and my sweet funny little girl loves Hannah Montana. So this is the way
it is and the way it will be.
Someone above mentioned overdoing it with GD music and turning someone off. Yes this can be done. Happened to me at one point and I *like* the Grateful Dead so I feel for those on the other side of the fence.
Buddy of mine was exclusive, all GD all the time as a kind of continuous life soundtrack. A great guy, truely a fine human being but being around this music every waking moment was oppressive after a while. Especially since the only music making device we had out in the country where we were at the time was a little one-speaker language-lab-type mono cassette deck. This poor, ancient, 70s vintage machine with the big buttons and the eject that made the tape sproing out the top, was literally played to death. On its last legs the heads were filthy and the mechanical parts were noisily grinding themselves to bits with a loud whirring sound, as my friend continued to force it into service. The general effect was what the Grateful Dead would have sounded like if they had been playing underwater with a guy using an electric shaver in the foreground. The "music" was unintelligable but vaguely familiar. Interestingly I retained an appreciation the Grateful Dead, their mystery and their moving evocative music and went on trading and going to shows and winding up in this wing of cyberspace. However I have sympathy for beleaguered SOs listening to that 28 version "Truckin' Compilation" tape all the way to Cleveland in the car.
Yesterday this day's madness did prepare.
I can relate to all these stories. My ex-wife was no Dead Head either. Most of the time, she called it "noise". She was a Beatlemaniac. Thankfully, we had a love of Blues in common.
But, she's gone now, and I'm searching for another soulmate who is into the Dead, (amongst other incompatible and mutually exclusive criteria).
Well, reading this makes me feel like there are other people out there similar to me. I met my husband after I had given up tour and going to lots of shows, but still was a deadhead at heart. My husband and I are pretty much complete opposites. He is very serious, intellectual, neat and tidy, and by the book. Well, it wasn't until we had really together that I brought up the dead. Now you are going to hate this, turns out he was one of the evil vendors on tour. Yes, don't kill me. He came over from India with 18 dollars in his pocket and saw that he could sustain himself selling things from India on tour. He says he never went into the shows, but he knows alot about the culture. His favorite song is Stella Blue. So, Im in a situation where I am married to someone that 1) was frowned upon by "real" deadheads, 2) knows about ALOT about tour and the dead but wasn't really a deadhead. It's wierd. Its funny where life takes you. He listens to alot of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Dwight Yoakham... He gives the Dead credit for being musicians, especially in this day and age where that seems to be a dying breed. But he is not a deadhead, and will never be one. I listen mostly in my car on the way to work (40 minute commute one way) and on my ipod.
I shouldn't say complete opposites but pretty close. I love the Dead, She loves Tesla. I went to a Tesla show with her and 2 friends to be able to say that I had gone. I dealt with it, not bad actually. They played Truckin, I would never have guessed, so that part was really good, but the Tesla heads that kept bumping into me spilling my beer part I could do without. All in all not a bad evening, and she loved me even more, just for the effort!! I took her to see RatDog as the Dead weren't around anymore when we got together. She liked watching all the heads more than listening to the music. I wish she had been able to have seen the Dead, I don't know if that would have changed anything or not, but at least she would be able to understand better. But we love each other and Lord I can see that it is true!!!!
I married a disco queen - and I used to have a bumper sticker that said "Disco Sucks". It generally works ok, though I don't get to listen to the Dead much around her. I did take her to a couple shows, and I think she got the groove, but come intermission she was sure it had to be over. LOL
She's a trained dancer, so she laughs at my moves, and swears I hear beats that aren't there. I tried to tell her to listen for the beats in the spaces between, but I don't think it translates properly to the uninitiated..
However, I get to infect our baby daughter, so the last laughs on her!