Good to see some life here on this group. I can relate to many of the posts.
I have been sober 12 years. I had a strange journey to getting sober and had other periods of recovery as well.
I had the good luck and fortune to attend a Wharf Rat meeting at a Dead show in the late 90's. It was very empowering. I attended all my shows sober. I am sure it would have been fun to be high at a show but my drinking & using reached a point where it was no longer "fun".
I could relate to one poster talking about life changing. I am a father now with a 15 year old son. My son appreciates the Dead even though he is young in years. I taught him to be patient when listening to a live Dead show because sometimes you have to sit through some noodling before the magic happens.
My life is very regimented now. After all the years I have a good job and a career. For most of my life I struggled financially. I spent much of my life with heavy debt and behind the eight ball so to speak. Things are good now from a material standpoint.
I'd like to have more time for concerts and sitting in a room with a candle listening to the Dead. Right now sometimes a half hour late at night is the only free time I get. I enjoy listening to concerts while I drive. I do have a few friends of mine who appreciate the Dead. I reached a point of acceptance that I am just at a busy stage of life. Right now I have four days off. Free time is precious to me - especially as I get older. I turn 47 in a few days... That's a trip.
Sobriety is far from perfect. I don't think it is natural to not be able to escape your problems. I have found escapes besides drugs though. Long walks with the Ipod, reading, meditation, staring at the stars - these are some of the ways I escape the stress of life. Being sober keeps me in the game and keeps me from getting dysfunctional. My first year of sobriety sucked. Things didn't get better until year 3. In my first year of sobriety I got divorced, lost a house, and filed bankruptcy. It was a traumatic year. I got real hard. I worked out like crazy. I got away from my Deadhead roots.
Sobriety has been a journey. I had to cultivate my spirituality to make it bearable. I have grown to believe in the existence of a higher power. It is hard for me to believe something like a bird's wing just occurred through random mutations. A feather is a marvel of engineering - remarkably strong and yet light.
My new wife isn't a Deadhead but she is a good life partner. I don't have any magic answers for those struggling. My experience has been that it gets better. Sometimes I have to do foot work or take risks. My higher power doesn't read the want ads for me for jobs and he doesn't pay my bills. He helps though and those trippy coincidences happen sometimes. I have to stay teachable. Even though I have my musical sub-culture I still need to operate in the world at large with people who see things differently than me.
I am going to go back to the concert I am listening too and enjoy a great version of "Fire on the Mountain".
Hey guys in new to the site, looking for connections in Indiana, Lafayette area. Anyone around there gimme a holler
I knew about this group during my drinking and drugging days, and I respected it's purpose, though I didn't believe I would ever be interested in considering myself a WharfRat.
So far, AA is working for me, but I'm Grateful that there's a sober group that I can relate to on more than one level.
Well, I have a new clean date. Really struggling to stay clean. I've had problems in the past with staying on track but now it just seems that my lack of community is killing me. I go to meetings but there are few people that I truly relate to or trust. Growing up on the streets of Seattle and San Fransisco really took their toll and while I have done a lot to heal those periods in my life I find myself trying to periodically return to the familiar. The Haight is still the Haight with me there or not. I joined this group with the hopes that someone would recognize me or my name and I could find out how some of the kids I grew up with are doing. "Normal" people have high school forums they can participate in but since my High Schools were Larkin Street Youth Center and the Orion Center in Seattle... I don't have many places to get to meet people I can really relate to. I currently work in the legal field as a paralegal. Kind of unbelievable really. My son is almost eighteen and ready to move out. He's the polar opposite of me in so many ways. I pray for that he survives his adolescence and young adulthood better than I did but it's not looking promising. All that being said, I am on my second step. I'm grateful for so many things, my car, my apartment... on and on. I always told myself that there were so many things I was going to try and do when I grew up but it only seems that I'm caught in the grind of trying to provide for my son and provide for my needs or superfluous wants. I want to step back into the Dead community but I don't want to get loaded. Being away has changed me... some things I'm proud of... others, not so much. I am writing my story one line at a time... my life that is. I had a different profile name but I am deactivating that account. There was someone from my past that was stalking my posts and making comments about schizophrenia. Such a serious illness and super not cool to use against someone. Very childish, immature, hurtful... But using addicts are often just that...
I've been smoking (not tobacco) for about the past 25 years, and have been clean and sober for 1 week. I REALLY need some support right now, this is much more difficult than I thought it would be, and right now I just want to smoke. I realize that if I do, my job is gone, but right now the desire to get high is almost overwhelming. I have appointments scheduled next week, but that's not helping me now. What can I do?
If you find any would you PLEASE let me know?? Thank You Shea R. Santa Cruz Ca. 831 335 8470 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Hey now Mike T!
I'm glad you have shared your story with all of us.I hope that your pain shared is now pain lessened. I know this is of little consequence in your current situation, but stories like yours are what helped me to see that there was hope for my recovery a little more than two yrs ago. Initially coming in the doors of a program I was convinced that everyone in the room was undoubtedly full of shit. I mean really anyone can go into a meeting and share how good life has become, sing kum-ba-ya and do trust falls. But for me it was the old timers who, when the chips were down, were still committed to staying clean in spite of their troubles that made a believer outta me!Here were addicts/alcoholics who despite some tremendous adversity, were not only continuing to live a principled life substance free...but were actually seeking ways to grow more and learn from their own and other's experience. So thank you for having shared because it's stories like yours that bring real hope to the table for the rest of us!
Love & Light to You!
This is a little premature but are there any WharfRat Meetings In NYC or will there be some sort of booth at the run of ABB shows at the Beacon theater in March! Need some Family Love in NYC! Thanks in advance and keep Smile Smile Smilin'! Tommy
Yeah. Thanks. Didn't mean to bum anyone out. Just needed to get it out, and I think there are a total of 7 heads within a hundred miles.
so sorry for the completely excessive load of trouble on your plate these days. Welcome to these parts, anyway; there are good folks here.