• March 10, 2011
    https://www.dead.net/features/dead-heads/blairs-golden-road-blog-mixed-marriages
    Blair's Golden Road Blog - Mixed Marriages?
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This summer, my lovely wife, Regan, and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary (thank you, thank you); a pretty decent accomplishment, I suppose, in this era of fractured families and sky-high divorce rates. You know how they say “opposites attract”? Well, I’ve never bought that for a second—or at least never sought out my own “opposite.”

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I wouldn't say ours is a 'mixed" marriage in the pure sense. My bride may not have dug the tunes quite as much as I, but she did agree to name our first baby "Althea", although I had to show her it was more than a song, indeed it was a rose. I think in all our thirty years (May 2 this year) she has accompanied me to one show, maybe two shows. Yes, two - Oxford Raceway on July 3rd whatever year in the 80s. It was just up the road from our pizza restaurant which everyone had to drive right by to get to the show. Many stopped on their way, even more stopped on their way back. Best weekend in the pizza biz ever! Later on we went to a show in Augusta together. More recently she joined me at a Railroad Earth/Bobby Weir (UpNorth Festival) but that was only because high school friend Andy Geossling of RRE played at our wedding... did I mention it was thirty years ago? Anyway, Althea grew up to be a fine young woman. Her husband and her are in Portland Maine's top band, Metal Feathers [http://www.thebollard.com/bollard/?p=8373]; her brother is a percussion major at Berklee College of Music (drummer in the style of Mickey Hart/El Negro), so I guess the relentless playing of bootlegs throughout the eighties sort of penetrated their DNA. We still stream live shows when having a night home alone together... although she prefers Metal Feathers. "Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion." — Jack Kerouac
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With my wife 17 yrs. We've never seen a show together. She only saw one and it was Red Rocks, late 80's. She gets it, but not really. She is does understand that its important to me and makes me happy. We live in the middle of the country, so the shows don't come here. She lets me fly out to the East Coast every year and catch Bobby or Phil or Further with my friends. Kinda like a golf weekend, but a little hipper. I take taxi's to the show and only go home with my buddies. When I get home to her, she'll let me tell her about the line up and the venues. I pretty much know she doesn't care, but she's sweet enough to listen. It works for me. Smile Smile Smile.
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We fell in Love at the Red Rocks 82' Rain shows, and only saw each other one time a year at the Red Rocks shows in 83,84,and 85. Then we officially got together in 86, but no dead show again till 87 due to Jerry's illness. We saw many shows and our wedding song in 1990 was Love Each Other. Now he is over the shows because it's so hard and so expensive to go, and my need for a complete Dead music library is lost on him. He still loves the music, but hates the scene. I struggle to get to the shows myself now, but thankfully I have a lot of DeadHead friends that make me feel loved.
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if you live far away from the venues where they're likely to play a lot? Easier or harder to get along on this?
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We're a mixed marriage, and here's the story. I pretty much grew up with the Dead--and all the other SF bands. I lived practically across the street from the Polo Fields and Speedway Meadows. Back in the mid 60's, there'd be free concerts in the park every weekend. Me and my friends would be out at the Polo Fields playing baseball, when the tribes would slowly start to gather. Wild times back then for sure. I saw them so many times I can't even begin to give you a number. I used to always stand off to the left over where Pigpen was--but not too close, cause the Hells Angels parked their bikes over there too, and that was a whole different scene. Man the music was raw back then, but so true and real! I loved the Dead back then.But, onward to the Mixed Marriage part. It's now 1973, and I meet this wonderful girl from Omaha. She finally moves out here the early part of '74. Of course I want to introduce her to a real San Francisco concert, so her first show here in the City was the Wall of Sound show at the Cow Palace. I don't think her mouth closed the whole night. You have to understand that back then, Omaha might as well have been in another part of the world. Or should I say, San Francisco was in another part of the universe. She had never seen anything close to a Dead show before. From the parking lot to all that follows, it was all too much. So, unfortunately for her, that was her first and last show. Never been a problem for me, as there's always someone to go with. Plus, we liked pretty much all other music. Just a shame about that part. Hard to understand, but then again, the world keeps turning. Anyway, we're still together, so hows that for longevity. Thanks--It's fun to look back and remember and tell some yarns. Ricko
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Mazel tov on 30 years. It will be 31 for us this year. Both my wife and I grew up in the SF bay area and started hearing the Dead for free in the panhandle of Golden Gate park as teens, though we didn't know each other then. When we met, I was a deadhead living in Berkeley and went to all the local shows. I took her to the fillmore (west?) and we went backstage because I knew some people. She was unimpressed then, and is unimpressed now. She did like to 'shroom, though....LOL She tolerates the "headness" and most of my tie dye is worn out, except for the shirt from the further tour with the Other Ones incarnation. I have more dead shirts than stones shirts and have been to lots more dead shows than stones shows. My wife likes the stones and so do I, but there's nothing like the GOGD. I go to shows by myself once in a while and stay in touch with other heads here and on facebook, listen a lot on YouTube. We are still in love.......and Jefferson Airplane loves you!
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My wife is punk and/or dance, enjoys Gogol Bordello, !!!, local Texas punk, Fugazi, etc. So do I, but the only time she tolerates- no, I will say enjoys- the Dead is shortly after 4:20 or on long late night road trips. Those two times put her in the mindset where the Dead sound perfect. J.T. Gossard http://thehallucinogenicbible.blogspot.com/
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  • puroshaggy
    9 years 1 month ago
    My wife is punk and/or
    My wife is punk and/or dance, enjoys Gogol Bordello, !!!, local Texas punk, Fugazi, etc. So do I, but the only time she tolerates- no, I will say enjoys- the Dead is shortly after 4:20 or on long late night road trips. Those two times put her in the mindset where the Dead sound perfect. J.T. Gossard http://thehallucinogenicbible.blogspot.com/
  • headwall07
    9 years 1 month ago
    mixed marriages
    Mazel tov on 30 years. It will be 31 for us this year. Both my wife and I grew up in the SF bay area and started hearing the Dead for free in the panhandle of Golden Gate park as teens, though we didn't know each other then. When we met, I was a deadhead living in Berkeley and went to all the local shows. I took her to the fillmore (west?) and we went backstage because I knew some people. She was unimpressed then, and is unimpressed now. She did like to 'shroom, though....LOL She tolerates the "headness" and most of my tie dye is worn out, except for the shirt from the further tour with the Other Ones incarnation. I have more dead shirts than stones shirts and have been to lots more dead shows than stones shows. My wife likes the stones and so do I, but there's nothing like the GOGD. I go to shows by myself once in a while and stay in touch with other heads here and on facebook, listen a lot on YouTube. We are still in love.......and Jefferson Airplane loves you!
  • Default Avatar
    Rickoshell
    9 years 1 month ago
    Mixed--But No Worries
    We're a mixed marriage, and here's the story. I pretty much grew up with the Dead--and all the other SF bands. I lived practically across the street from the Polo Fields and Speedway Meadows. Back in the mid 60's, there'd be free concerts in the park every weekend. Me and my friends would be out at the Polo Fields playing baseball, when the tribes would slowly start to gather. Wild times back then for sure. I saw them so many times I can't even begin to give you a number. I used to always stand off to the left over where Pigpen was--but not too close, cause the Hells Angels parked their bikes over there too, and that was a whole different scene. Man the music was raw back then, but so true and real! I loved the Dead back then.But, onward to the Mixed Marriage part. It's now 1973, and I meet this wonderful girl from Omaha. She finally moves out here the early part of '74. Of course I want to introduce her to a real San Francisco concert, so her first show here in the City was the Wall of Sound show at the Cow Palace. I don't think her mouth closed the whole night. You have to understand that back then, Omaha might as well have been in another part of the world. Or should I say, San Francisco was in another part of the universe. She had never seen anything close to a Dead show before. From the parking lot to all that follows, it was all too much. So, unfortunately for her, that was her first and last show. Never been a problem for me, as there's always someone to go with. Plus, we liked pretty much all other music. Just a shame about that part. Hard to understand, but then again, the world keeps turning. Anyway, we're still together, so hows that for longevity. Thanks--It's fun to look back and remember and tell some yarns. Ricko