For funny stuff...
a cowboy appeared before st. peter at the pearly gates
'have you done anything of particular merit in the life you were given?' asked st. peter
'well, i can think of one thing', the cowboy offered
'on a trip to the black hills out in south dakota, i came upon a gang of bikers
who were threatening a young woman. i stopped and told them to leave her
alone but they wouldn't listen. so i approached the largest, most tattooed
biker and kicked over his bike, punched him in the face, ripped out his
nose ring and threw it on the ground.
then i yelled, 'now back off or i'll kick the shit out of all of you!'
st. peter was impressed and asked, 'when did all of this take place?'
'couple of minutes ago'............ :D
I made a goofy little 7-frame Comic Strip of the GD (1967 cast), and if anyone can tell me how to post pictures here, I would post it.
:)
I thought this was funny...
http://thoughtsonthedead.wordpress.com/
Solipsism Warning:
The consumer should be aware that he or she may be the only entity in the universe, and therefore that any perceived defects in product quality are the consumer's own fault.
Determinism Safety Advisory: Every citizen be advised that despite the possibility that his or her acts are all entirely predetermined by the blind mechanical nature of
the universe and are therefore unavoidable and inescapable, he or she will still incur a legal responsibility and liability for any torts, violations, misdemeanors, or felonies he or she commits.
I used your jokes at my guitar recital this afternoon and they went over well with the audience. They were perfect for today. I thought the punchline for the 'tense' joke worked great before the Bach. Later, I asked the audience if they wanted to hear another 'tense/tents' joke and I used the tepee one. It really helped to disarm the audience and to settle my nerves as well. Thanks again.
What happen when Rita Marley got a cold?
There was boogie on reggae woman
Man speaking to his shrink, says "I don't know what's wrong with me. Some days I feel like a wigwam, some days I feel like a teepee."
Shrink: "Obviously, sir, you're two tents!"
The Past, the Present and the Future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
how do you know you're staying at a redneck motel?
when you call the front desk and say
"i gotta leak in my sink"", and the clerk replies.......
"go ahead"
**sorry if you're thinking about this the next time you're brushing your teeth over a motel sink ;-}