loud and clear! You have written exactly my feelings and questions that I have had for several years now.
Daily life as an adult makes it harder to find moments of pure peace and bliss, but like Guru Hal says, you gotta make time for that. One thing that helps me alot, in between being able to find joyful moments, is a simple phrase that a friend told me once. He said that he had just read in a book that the only people who are truly happy and balanced are those who can accept responsibility for their lives being as they are. That we have all made the choices that led us to where we are now, and that life hasn't just led us down a random bummer path. Was kind of hard to learn how to do this accepting, but now, in really bad moments, is like a prayer almost. I sit down and reflect on the choices that I made that got me to whatever bad thing I am experiencing. Brings me more inner peace to do this, and after practise, is easier than blaming the world for my shit. Then I look for any small thing to be happy about or proud of, and go on.
Enjoyment is my religion. I think doing the simple things we enjoy on a daily basis is what I would call religion. Anything that brings each individual inner peace is religion. That's all I have to say about that!!
yeah Hal, that's all true. thanks for that. sometimes I need reminding too. You're right, life is change. I thank God that I had that time too. It was a whirlwind trip, it was wonderful and then it was gone. But it's here in me and it's here in you and that means that it must be out there somewhere still.
We will get by.......
I'm in my 30's now. It's a trippy decade of life. I don't know if it's the same for everyone, but for me it's raising a pre-teen, it's feeding the relationship with my SO, it's a 40 hr per week job, it's being on community and work committees, it's building a house, it's homework and soccer games, it's meetings and deadlines, it's cooking and cleaning, and it's laundry......oh the laundry.......it never stops.
Busy, busy, busy all the time. Faster, faster, faster everyday. Harder, harder, harder to sniff the roses. Since everything is a schedule now (which is incredibly hard for me in itself, not to mention following it), it's hard to fit in "meadow" time or "ocean" time and make it "church". Ironcially, it's almost like I need a scheduled show to plan for and go to; now more than ever.
I do find it here and there. A hummingbird that comes to visit when I'm drinking my morning coffee. The sunset with beams of light shooting up from the hills as I drive home, the chit-chats with my daughter on the way to soccer games, finding a spider web strung all the way from the top of the garage to the concrete floor (my god, that spider had tenacity!), making my friends' baby smile. Those little moments are all there, sprinkled in amongst the hurry. Moments that remind me of God.
I went to that show in Shoreline a few years back where the GD played with Joan Osborne. It just reminded me of......everything. I should find more shows to go to. I need to dance.
BTW....I'm with you on this: the ONLY way I can get the house clean is to throw a GD CD in, crank up the stereo, and vacuum my heart out.
You're words are comforting.......please keep them coming. And I'll do my best to do the same.
If you take a long walk outside in the mountains or the forest or near the ocean maybe you will see another church or the same church in another form. And maybe the birds singing are also a Band Beyond Description. Not the same but what is? Nothing lasts and that's the hard part.
I got that feeling that you talk about when I saw Ratdog this summer. I felt like I was back home and had been away for a couple of years.
The ecstasy and oneness of the dance of the Dead is one I treasure and gives me great joy and bliss and peace and love.
I still find it at jam band shows, listening to Dead CDs and just dancing around the house as I do the daily chores.
But there truly is nothing like a Grateful Dead concert. I'm just glad I was at a certain place and time on this planet to take part.
And I still have nature and the birds to put a smile on my face and all those tapes and CDs and memories.
I'm going around in circles here, just spinning away.
It's a good day, send me this post when I am having a bad one to remind me to smell the roses and hear the songs.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Walt Whitman-Song of Myself
Ummm.....I think that the Grateful Dead WAS my religion. That may sound strange to some, but it's true. I didn't worhship the band and I didn't think that Jerry was God or anything. Not like that. But the shows were my church. The Heads were my congregation. Dance was my prayer. Spinning was my rapture.
Yes, I was a spinner. Spinning took me straight to God, Goddess, the Universe, whatever.
No matter what happened during the week, everything always unraveled while I danced. Life became seamless, things took shape, problems worked themselves out, solutions offered themselves to me.
The more I danced, the more I Understood. The more I Understood, the more peaceful my spirit became.
I'm having a hard time writing this post because I'm not sure there's any good way to describe what religion does to your soul. All I know is that I learned more about forgiveness and prayer at Dead shows than anywhere else.
So, I guess I lost my religion. It happens. No other music, no other band has been able to take me to the same place. I've tried on many different religions, none of them have clicked. For more than a decade now, I'm not sure what I believe in. Not sure how to get back to that place where the angels are dancing there with me.
I'm sure I'll find it again. Maybe I'll be an old lady someday, spinning out in a meadow, dancing to the music in my memory, talking with God. Maybe I'll find it sooner than that.
Maybe when Uncle John comes to take this child Home, there'll be Dead shows in Heaven. I'll be in the Phil Zone.....spinning.......
I've always been uncertain and confused when it comes to faith and religion. So much so that I think uncertainty and skeptisism are my religious beliefs sometimes. There has always been a real disconnect for me between what many popular religions preach, and what they actually practice. There's so much talk of faith, discipline, scriptures, laws, and God's will, and yet there has never been a day in human history without a war raging somewhere on this planet. Humans continue to screw each other over, sometimes for the most petty of things, and for what? Where is God in all this?
Thinking about this for several years has unfortunately left me with a bit of a negative view of most organized religions. Except for Buddhism. When I was younger I took an interest in Buddhism, and for me, it seemed to make the most sense out of any of the religious doctrines I had learned about. I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for the Dalai Lama, probably more then any other human I know of. He actually did practice what he preached. But even though I had developed a strong interest in Buddhism, I would not call myself a Buddhist. I know myself too well, and I'm too lazy to be disciplined enough to become a Buddhist. I also developed an interest in paganism and wicca because of the respect they give to the earth and nature. But again, I'm too undisciplined to dedicate myself to either one.
Dispite all my confusion, the idea of God has always been in the back of my mind. Not a Christian, Jewish, or Muslim God. Not a God according to any religion. Not a male or female God. But just a God, a higher power, a natural force that exists in the universe that works in ways that we are not meant to understand. God can not be defined, only experienced. And that experience is different for every human being. Some people get it, and some people never experience God at all.
When I look into the face of my son, I see God. When I stand amongst the paeceful towering Redwoods, I see God. When I create something with my own two hands, I experience God. And when I danced with 20 thousand other people while the Grateful Dead played, I experienced God. I have never felt such a feeling of complete peace and joy with so many people as when I was at a Dead show. It wasn't just a concert, it was a spiritual event. For me, it was like going to church.
And if it wasn't for the Grateful Dead, I never would have meet all the people that are my good friends, or meet my wonderful wife, or had a beautiful son. God truly does work in mysterious ways. I still haven't made up my mind about religion, but I know there is a higher power that exists.
and no mater what the walk or choice is i ask...imagine if everyone practice's their religion/philkosopy kore than one hour a week, imagine'
Although I am a cheerful agnostic, I thought you all might find this article interesting:
"Pastor finds message in Grateful Dead music"
Yo Soy Boricua!
The Dude Abides!
...of the puzzle!
The Dude Abides!