They Love Each Other. But...

Posts: 4438
Joined: 05/26/07

Posted: June 21, 2007 - 8:12am

It's a common tale: you're into the Dead. You're also into your relationship with your significant other, who is very much not into the Dead.

How do you make it work?

Comments

Simpathy for those on the other side of the fence

On July 24th, 2007 AnotherBear said:

Someone above mentioned overdoing it with GD music and turning someone off. Yes this can be done. Happened to me at one point and I *like* the Grateful Dead so I feel for those on the other side of the fence.

Buddy of mine was exclusive, all GD all the time as a kind of continuous life soundtrack. A great guy, truely a fine human being but being around this music every waking moment was oppressive after a while. Especially since the only music making device we had out in the country where we were at the time was a little one-speaker language-lab-type mono cassette deck. This poor, ancient, 70s vintage machine with the big buttons and the eject that made the tape sproing out the top, was literally played to death. On its last legs the heads were filthy and the mechanical parts were noisily grinding themselves to bits with a loud whirring sound, as my friend continued to force it into service. The general effect was what the Grateful Dead would have sounded like if they had been playing underwater with a guy using an electric shaver in the foreground. The "music" was unintelligable but vaguely familiar. Interestingly I retained an appreciation the Grateful Dead, their mystery and their moving evocative music and went on trading and going to shows and winding up in this wing of cyberspace. However I have sympathy for beleaguered SOs listening to that 28 version "Truckin' Compilation" tape all the way to Cleveland in the car.

Yesterday this day's madness did prepare.

suburbia, husband doesn't do dead and kids

On July 24th, 2007 dens said:

I get to listen to the Dead while I work in my studio on my illustrations when nobody is around.
Hey, it works... dead music is very inspirational to me. My man just doesn't get it (he's a jazz/blues man) and my sweet funny little girl loves Hannah Montana. So this is the way
it is and the way it will be.

Infinitely relatable...

On August 1st, 2007 IslandMyk said:

I'm one of those "later in life" Deadheads; I knew of them but didn't really get into them until the early 90's, through a woman who became my wife. One day she brought home several Dick's Picks sets and my musical world was forever changed.

The marriage didn't survive, but my love for the Dead did. My current s/o prefers top 40 and Eminem (gasp) and like many I've seen in these posts, just doesn't get my love for the Grateful Dead, though I've tried many times to explain it. We both work from home and from the moment I start my day, I'm listening to the boys via radioio.com. She listens to whatever she listens to, and it seems to work out reasonably well. She's stopped asking why I like the Dead, and I have stopped trying to understand the appeal of Eminem. It's just easier that way...

"Goodbye, Mama and Papa,
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter,
Either side of the hill"

islandmyk@yahoo.com

TLEO

On August 26th, 2007 skillet fire said:

My gal was ripping me about how I needed to get real and "stop listening to DRUG music".
My argument was that she had too many preconceived notions about The GD.
She is a good girl but at times incredibly shallow (of course, I have my faults,too). She was telling me that I needed to leave The Grateful Dead behind and grow up. I was listening to Sirius 17 (a satellite Jam Band Channel/GD Channel) on my boat while all this was going on. She said "if I could just start listening to songs like this" things would be okay. It was The GD doing "Loose Lucy".
She's warming to them.

Jazz and Blues

On August 26th, 2007 Steve-O said:

Sounds like the Dead to me. Throw in a little folk, a little rock and roll and you've got The Dead

live and let live

On August 29th, 2007 cosmicbadger said:

My adorable wife has little or no interest in the Dead, indeed she has little interest in music at all… she never went through the teenage phase where music was ‘so important’ never had a crush on a pop star, never followed any band, never found an album ‘crucial’, never signed up to the orthodoxy of what is or is not cool. As a result her taste such as it is, is utterly random, with equal interests in individual tracks she happens to like from any genre.

Another consequence of this is that she has not wrecked her hearing (its way too late for me to tell between this MP3 and lossless business) ….I used to take her to a few gigs, but she ends up in pain, stuffing bits of tissue in her ears or waiting outside till its over. When I put the Dead on at what I feel an acceptable volume, she takes the dog in the garden to protect both their ears.

Sounds like a real straight eh?…well you’re so wrong there …she is as free a spirit as anyone….just got there by a different path...that makes her all the more fun to be with.

So how does it work with the Dead…well headphones of course and the work we both do means that we spend a lot of the time (around 1/3) apart, so I have the place to myself often enough to turn it up (the dog automatically goes upstairs when he sees me approach the CD player). When I am away I stack up the laptop and ipod with GD goodies. She treats my GD obsessions with tolerant amusement and has no fear that I will run off with a younger woman because I already did that (with her!). Just the best!

"Nightmare Hippie Girl"

On October 30th, 2007 iknowurider said:

My husband since '96 loves what I like to refer to as "begging music" as in Begging for a piece of A** ! I on the other hand I love Older music that tells a story. I can play a few songs when were together, but forget Fire>Drums>Space..etc . He's gone to a few shows with me, but NO Dylan! We've gotten used to it, although sometimes it seems like a house divided, bc were always listening to music. I can tell when he's upset with me bc he'll play Nightmare Hippie Girl, by Beck! It works itself out though and we'll keep on truckin. Hey, atleast he'll still buy me a Dead CD every now and again. There's always hope
PEACE

tleo

On October 30th, 2007 neddles said:

My wife is from Norway and had no clue about the dead before she met me. Over the course of our marriage, I've thrown on a show or two here and again and she always says that she likes it, but she's more of a pink floyd girl. Now that Sirius has the GD channel, I find myself immersed in the world like I haven't been in 15 years or so and I hope she doesn't get burned out! The first real negative sign was when she turned on the stereo and started playing whatever cd was in there - it turned out to be an Aud. from early '68 - and she said she had to turn it off because the sound quality was so bad!! Hard to argue with that I s'pose!
When I got home, she had Simon & Garfunkle playing...

My wife is coming around, lol.

On February 19th, 2008 GratefulGooner said:

Over 2 years ago, for some strange reason, looking for music that mattered
and just felt organic; The GD came into my life. At first my wife, who is a
HUGE classic rock fan, thought it was a phase and like me NEVER really
likes live music cds. Well, 25 GD cds later, most of them live...she is starting
to find songs that finish and she says, "what was that?" I grin, The DEAD
and she replies, "hey, I liked that."

P.S. We have tickets to the March 22, Ratdog show in Milwaukee...
im so pumped a night with my soulmate and great music!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rich man step on my poor head,
When you get up you better butter my bread."

So close to home

On February 19th, 2008 Salmon Will said:

This is a great topic, and one that needed to post, if for no other reason than to vent about our spouses/significant others. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why anyone who has had the opportunity to listen to GD would not fall in love with the music. I realize it's an acquired taste, however, there's been many years she could have acquired it. So having our own I-pods is the best thing that could have happened. Although now we jockey to see who can get theirs first on the docking station first. =0)

Fall Out Boy? or Grateful Dead? You pick......