Still struggling to stay clean. Coming up on six months again. Played at a jam session tonight. I play the harmonica, it was awesome, we had so much fun. Being clean feels good most days but sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing for the right reasons. I wonder if I latched on to recovery because I had a hard time connecting with new people when I got back up here to Seattle, and the people that I know are clean have always treated me with love and kindness. I guess that's a good enough reason in the begining. To say nothing of the unmanagability of my life when I use. But anyway, I'm going to start doing sweats and hopefuly the spirit will heal me. I know that it is a process, but I would like to feel the rewards sooner rather than later. Working on my character defects presently and believe me, looking honestly at myself isn't easy. There is a pattern and a cycle of self sabatoge that manifests as character defects. We'll see. Maybe when I'm entirely ready to have the spirit remove my defects of character and I work honestly and diligently on them, each day, I will be blessed with some relief from the torment they have on my life. Maybe.
you are right, of course. and i have the fortitude and capacity to display these innate strengths. i know that i need to take care of myself first, and by doing so be a power of example. i have made some deep inquiry into the situation and at this point have decided that i do not wish to participate in the current behavior cycle. live the Truth, and only Truth will manifest.
YOU have to be strong for your friend
hey now. hope you're all enjoying a great summer tour. i know i have been. it could be a lot better, though...which is why i need someone to talk to.
i was in program and a w.w. for about 10 years (that was 21 years ago). moved away and when i came back i thought i was fine. started seeing shows again with my best bud for 20+ years. it started to become really clear that we were headed down a dangerous road last year. but it has become intolerable as of last night at the nokia show. we went to dinner first and had a few beers. then at the show a few more, a puff or two, and we were set. then my friend tried to coerce me in to taking a sip of whiskey. i said no way but he kept insisting, and it wasn't a joke or at all funny. it bothered me a lot that he would not stop, to the point where he just carried too far, and then some. it became a power of the wills, but i won this one. i do not want to go down that road again... i may not have been the worst drunk or pothead in the world, but my history shows that i can easily get carried away (at one point i.v. + pills + booze).
i was sad to see my friend (who i met in program) so wasted, and myself on the verge. if any kind sister out there is willing to be of support, it would be gratefully accepted.
thanks so much.
Thought you might enjoy this speaker mtg/dance:
Event: Grateful (we aren't) Dead - The Hippie Experience
Date: Sat. July 31st
Details: Speaker 8:00 (Roy B.)
Location: First United Methodist Church
15 East 1st Avenue (1st Ave and Center)
Contact info: Roy D 480-773-5543
Havent checked in in a while...went to Further on July 2 in Columbus-awesome!!!Hope everyone out there is happy, sober, and happy to be sober!!! Love n Light-hcm
Hi Gang -
I am a "seasoned" woman attending the 3 RR shows, solo, travelling from AZ (by way of SB and LA, where I am meeting up with friends). Wondered if there are any women wharfrats with some sobriety out there who might be interested in sharing rented accomodation (motel, etc) in Colorado (non-smoking is critical!)? Could share driving in the area, catch some meetings, whatever? Always nice to save money! If interested, please send a private message - I am hoping to book something soon!
Thanks! - Kym
be kind to your mind
_bill grahm -
Just checking in with y'all. I'm going to the show in ME. and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone I can. Ya just never know what kind of fun, your gonna have :)
peace people and smile :)
"Who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?"
Brent and Pigpen and Keith too.
I support all Wharf Rats, especially the ones who appreciate how much more they can hear and remember of the music. There are a lot of people who went to spectacular shows but can't remember a thing.
Hang in there, you'll sweat it out.