Well, I have a new clean date. Really struggling to stay clean. I've had problems in the past with staying on track but now it just seems that my lack of community is killing me. I go to meetings but there are few people that I truly relate to or trust. Growing up on the streets of Seattle and San Fransisco really took their toll and while I have done a lot to heal those periods in my life I find myself trying to periodically return to the familiar. The Haight is still the Haight with me there or not. I joined this group with the hopes that someone would recognize me or my name and I could find out how some of the kids I grew up with are doing. "Normal" people have high school forums they can participate in but since my High Schools were Larkin Street Youth Center and the Orion Center in Seattle... I don't have many places to get to meet people I can really relate to. I currently work in the legal field as a paralegal. Kind of unbelievable really. My son is almost eighteen and ready to move out. He's the polar opposite of me in so many ways. I pray for that he survives his adolescence and young adulthood better than I did but it's not looking promising. All that being said, I am on my second step. I'm grateful for so many things, my car, my apartment... on and on. I always told myself that there were so many things I was going to try and do when I grew up but it only seems that I'm caught in the grind of trying to provide for my son and provide for my needs or superfluous wants. I want to step back into the Dead community but I don't want to get loaded. Being away has changed me... some things I'm proud of... others, not so much. I am writing my story one line at a time... my life that is. I had a different profile name but I am deactivating that account. There was someone from my past that was stalking my posts and making comments about schizophrenia. Such a serious illness and super not cool to use against someone. Very childish, immature, hurtful... But using addicts are often just that...
I've been smoking (not tobacco) for about the past 25 years, and have been clean and sober for 1 week. I REALLY need some support right now, this is much more difficult than I thought it would be, and right now I just want to smoke. I realize that if I do, my job is gone, but right now the desire to get high is almost overwhelming. I have appointments scheduled next week, but that's not helping me now. What can I do?
If you find any would you PLEASE let me know?? Thank You Shea R. Santa Cruz Ca. 831 335 8470 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Hey now Mike T!
I'm glad you have shared your story with all of us.I hope that your pain shared is now pain lessened. I know this is of little consequence in your current situation, but stories like yours are what helped me to see that there was hope for my recovery a little more than two yrs ago. Initially coming in the doors of a program I was convinced that everyone in the room was undoubtedly full of shit. I mean really anyone can go into a meeting and share how good life has become, sing kum-ba-ya and do trust falls. But for me it was the old timers who, when the chips were down, were still committed to staying clean in spite of their troubles that made a believer outta me!Here were addicts/alcoholics who despite some tremendous adversity, were not only continuing to live a principled life substance free...but were actually seeking ways to grow more and learn from their own and other's experience. So thank you for having shared because it's stories like yours that bring real hope to the table for the rest of us!
Love & Light to You!
This is a little premature but are there any WharfRat Meetings In NYC or will there be some sort of booth at the run of ABB shows at the Beacon theater in March! Need some Family Love in NYC! Thanks in advance and keep Smile Smile Smilin'! Tommy
Yeah. Thanks. Didn't mean to bum anyone out. Just needed to get it out, and I think there are a total of 7 heads within a hundred miles.
so sorry for the completely excessive load of trouble on your plate these days. Welcome to these parts, anyway; there are good folks here.
I've been clean for more than five years, now, and I thought I had it made. Two months ago my wife of 20 years put my two beautiful daughters in her minivan and left. I thought being dope-sick and detox was the most horribly lonely experience of my life. Not any more. About a month later I was in a car accident. I called my wife from the hospital, and she told me she couldn't come to pick me up and that I would have to deal with it. My wallet, money, credit cards, everything was in my car at a garage 20 miles away. The rural Pennsylvania police seemed disappointed that my blood tests came back clean - Long hair is still frowned upon here in Apple Country. They left, and I walked 17 miles to my home. On the way I passed several acquaintances of my wife's family, as well as one of her brothers and an uncle - all of whom waved cheerfully and kept driving. The loneliness - the emptiness - is beyond description. A few weeks later I bought a used car. Paid cash, figured I would go forward and work through everything. Two days later I was stopped by the Hwy Patrol, who confiscated the title to the car, etc, because the dealer had fraudulently obtained, titled, and sold the car. I am now out the money, the car, AND my family. At this point, I am almost beginning to laugh. I couldn't make this up! But I am still clean, though my knuckles are frequently white and my teeth are gradually be ground down.
Well, thanks for listening. It's 6 degrees outside and I think a brisk walk may just be the ticket. Peace.
Hey, does anyone on here know where I could find more Dead-themed recovery stickers? I love the ones I get at shows, but I always lose them. Plus, I'd like to give some to friends. Pins would be really cool, too.
Hi folks; I have been attending Wharf Rat meeting at shows for a long time 32 years sober. I know of a few rock groups like moe that has 12 Step groups as well. My niece who is sober is in Denver for the Umphrey's McGee shows and she is with friends that are drinking and using and whats to get in touch with some sober folks. Does anyone know if Umphrey's has a group?