hey now. hope you're all enjoying a great summer tour. i know i have been. it could be a lot better, though...which is why i need someone to talk to.
i was in program and a w.w. for about 10 years (that was 21 years ago). moved away and when i came back i thought i was fine. started seeing shows again with my best bud for 20+ years. it started to become really clear that we were headed down a dangerous road last year. but it has become intolerable as of last night at the nokia show. we went to dinner first and had a few beers. then at the show a few more, a puff or two, and we were set. then my friend tried to coerce me in to taking a sip of whiskey. i said no way but he kept insisting, and it wasn't a joke or at all funny. it bothered me a lot that he would not stop, to the point where he just carried too far, and then some. it became a power of the wills, but i won this one. i do not want to go down that road again... i may not have been the worst drunk or pothead in the world, but my history shows that i can easily get carried away (at one point i.v. + pills + booze).
i was sad to see my friend (who i met in program) so wasted, and myself on the verge. if any kind sister out there is willing to be of support, it would be gratefully accepted.
thanks so much.
Thought you might enjoy this speaker mtg/dance:
Event: Grateful (we aren't) Dead - The Hippie Experience
Date: Sat. July 31st
Details: Speaker 8:00 (Roy B.)
Location: First United Methodist Church
15 East 1st Avenue (1st Ave and Center)
Contact info: Roy D 480-773-5543
Havent checked in in a while...went to Further on July 2 in Columbus-awesome!!!Hope everyone out there is happy, sober, and happy to be sober!!! Love n Light-hcm
Hi Gang -
I am a "seasoned" woman attending the 3 RR shows, solo, travelling from AZ (by way of SB and LA, where I am meeting up with friends). Wondered if there are any women wharfrats with some sobriety out there who might be interested in sharing rented accomodation (motel, etc) in Colorado (non-smoking is critical!)? Could share driving in the area, catch some meetings, whatever? Always nice to save money! If interested, please send a private message - I am hoping to book something soon!
Thanks! - Kym
be kind to your mind
_bill grahm -
Just checking in with y'all. I'm going to the show in ME. and I'm looking forward to meeting everyone I can. Ya just never know what kind of fun, your gonna have :)
peace people and smile :)
"Who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?"
Brent and Pigpen and Keith too.
I support all Wharf Rats, especially the ones who appreciate how much more they can hear and remember of the music. There are a lot of people who went to spectacular shows but can't remember a thing.
Hang in there, you'll sweat it out.
I'm not an alcoholic or recovering drug addict, but I want to honor all Wharf Rats or anyone struggling to live a healthier life. I've done my share of recreational drugs, and had to tear myself away a couple of times from unhealthy scenes and friends, so I understand how hard it must be to attend shows. I do have a beer or two at a show, and will smoke a little, so I'm not saying it's all bad, just when done so much your brain can't hear the layers of meaning in the music's lyrics. I feel our community and family centered around the GD and now Furthur, is at a crossroads. I see four generations at shows, each with a slightly different tradition and idea of what it's all about. From the first generation onward it was accepted and understood that drug use was a part of the scene. My personal understanding is that drug use as it pertains to the Dead's music had a personally transformative and transcending nature. I'm not seeing much of that idea to the forefront anymore, hopefully it's still there but overwhelmed by the hard partyers. Too much I see young folks getting wasted almost as a prerequisite to enjoying the show, or thinking themselves as part of the community. Too much do I see gratuitous drinking of alcohol (a depressant) and incessant smoking of pot (one hit should get you that good mental high). I don't think it's good for anyone to drink, smoke and take drugs like I see at shows, and it's definitely not good for the continuation of our community. Maybe these same folks are drinking and smoking a lot all the time. Whatever the case may be, I'd like to just say that I wish there was an official recognition of the Wharf Rats within us, and that there was a movement of moderation at shows. Phil does his donor rap, and we all love that. What if at every show someone plugged moderation? Just something like "hey, you don't don't have to get wasted to be with us". And if not that, how about a booth, or wharf rat t-shirts to help balance the message of drugs. After all, who would deny that drugs took Jerry down. Wouldn't that be message enough?
just thought i would chime in....
My name is Patrick and I am an alcoholic and addict. I have been clean and sober since May 20th 2007 with the help of the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps, and my higher power who i call God.
I'm an definitely not a first-niter to this. I have been struggling to stay clean and sober for close to 20 years now. I have been to numerous rehabilitation centers, detoxes and programs in the hopes to get help. They never failed me for they all gave me the tools and the resources to help me, BUT either i wasn't ready, wasn't willing to put the needed effort into MY OWN recovery or i was doing it for the wrong reason or for someone else (mostly pressures from my family)
My addictions have taken me to many dark places in my life; selling my plasma (blood) for alcohol, homelessness (pushing my entire belongings in a baby-cart until the wheels fell of at the bottom Haight street) stealing from my family, lying so much that I actually started to believe my own pathetic lies. I literally lost my identity. My family didn't even know me anymore. I was just a shell of a person that I used to be. Alcohol and drugs were no longer a form of recreation for me anymore like they used to be in my early youthful days growing up in the parking lots at the shows, but it was a slow form of suicide.
Today i live my life one day at a time. I put the principles of the 12 steps into ACTION today. I have a sponsor, a home group I attend regularly. I have a wonderful life now, a loving wife and step kids, and two cats and a dog. I lost my job last year, and now i have an even better job helping people who are mostly terminally ill with cancer.
here is the link to a temp wharfrat meeting room:
Matthew H. Wisnom