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  • Houssy
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    Thanks for sharing that! I am
    Thanks for sharing that! I am 18 months sober (yesterday) and as you said..things get better. I did a 60 day residential recovery program and really became willing, open, and honest. At about one year I was in a high pressure job and struggling because I began to take my will back. I was wanting my ex wife back and not accepting what life was giving me. I took some time off work, then took on a less stressful role there, and worked hard on me and in becoming accepting. Low and behold, through a lot of introspection, meditation, and prayer, I began to really love MYSELF for who I am and realized the relationship I was in with my ex really wasn't a good one for either of us. I moved on, and am now quite content with my single guy life, and cherish life for what it is and am truly grateful that I can see and walk the path my higher power is showing me. Namaste!
  • Anttheknee
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    No more drinks for me.
    Found out I have cirrhosis of the liver. Never a heavy drinker and I haven't used any other drugs for 35 years. I had my last drinks [2 Guiness Stouts and a couple of glasses of Port] last Friday while playing Pinochle with some friends. It'll be difficult to not have a few drinks with my friends when we get together but I don't want to make it any worse than it is already. I guess I'll be drinking seltzer from now on. I hope to be able to handle the alcohol free life.
  • Nigel One
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    Clean shows rock!
    Still haven't seen any of the boys clean yet but hit a STS9 show last night in Grand Rapids clean with a couple other deadheads I hang with here in Kalamazoo. It makes a huge difference in my recovery having like minded individuals in my circle because although the end results are the same no matter where you use, the tour experience and family environment is much different than most of society and for me it's hard to stay clean in a society that says using is acceptable. Any way the first part of the show was kinda shaky but once the music was playing it was amazing. Can't wait to go to my next show and most definitely only wanna go with other clean heads. Looking forward to making a trip down to Indy soon for a Rats Drainditch meeting too. I lost everything in my using including memories of shows and in the end even attending. Glad to be getting that back and consider it one of the greatest gifts of recovery. Big shoutout to Charlie in S.F. for reachin out to me when I first was trying to get clean and my oldest friend Jim in Nashville for putting me in touch to WR online. Not using Facebook anymore but if you are and aren't in the fb group, then get involved. Met some real cool cats in there. NFA Nigel One
  • mona
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    What works for me
    Listening or playing music helps me a lot!
  • Memphis in the…
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    Hang in there Tom!
    Find a pattern interrupt..... Take a walk, get some exercise, call a friend, meditate....experiment with anything that helps you break out of this single moment where you may not be at your best. Then move on to the next moment. Personally, exercise and meditation work the best for me.
  • August West Wh…
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    Hope it's gotten better for ya...
    Your story makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Love the grit... I hope that when the chips are down for me I don't waiver. It's good to know you were able to keep your chin up and walk w/ your head held high... it must've felt great to see the looks on the Cops faces when blood test came back clean!!! Keep on keepin' on, wish the best for you!
  • August West Wh…
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    I'm new to this forum and feeling good about being sober!
    I am so glad to know this forum is here~! The local AA meetings are OK, and it helps me to attend sporadically, but I feel I am a "lone wolf" and this group seems more up my ally... over 70 dead shows under my belt,quite a few very sober... but seeing JGB and seeing Garcia/Gris acoustic at the Warfield was like going to church for me... I am not nor was I ever very convinced by organized religion (other than Buddhism...) but that seeing JGB and Jerry w/ GRIS AT THE WARFIELD WAS SOMETHING MAGICAL AND SPIRITUAL FOR ME... the drunk college kids behind us kinda spoiled it one night until the Heads in residency in the front row shut em up... more later! ANY LOUISIANA WHARF RATS OUT THERE!!!??? I still go to shows around New Orleans and BR, but enjoy them better now w/o spending my hard earned cheese on beer. Shout if you out there. Captain Green (Zappa cover band) plays Chelsea's 9/11 AMERICAN AQUARIUM plays Varsity in BR this SAT night. ANY BATON ROUGE WHARF RATS OUT THERE??? These guys are supposed to really do it right.
  • marye
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    cool mona
    thanks for posting that.
  • mona
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    From Don Bryant
    Food For thought for those who may not KNOW: Here is a little HISTORY OF THE WHARF RATS for some of you new comers. I wrote these words fourteen years ago. They stand true today. YOU ARE A WHARF RAT IF YOU SAY YOU ARE-NO JUDGEMENT-NO REQUIREMENT!The Wharf Rats were founded by primarily clean and sober recovering addicts and alcoholics. What you find in the shows and generally throughout the wharf rat scene in no way resembles what the Wharf Rat scene started out as. The Wharf Rats have evolved and maturated if you will. Wharf Rats started out as a group of people in recovery on tour. It began as friendships by Deadheads bonded by Grateful Dead music and mutual recovery from Drug and Alcohol addiction. Some of us feared disclosing our status as Deadheads at our AA and NA meetings. We also had to be extremely vigilant at Dead shows. Some of us realized that Unity is one of the greatest healing powers that we have in recovery. We knew that there were other clean and sober Deadheads around but where were they and how could we get them together? The catalyst for the Wharf Rat Group was the overwhelming since of isolation that addicts and alcoholics were subjected to in Dead shows when we had to go it alone.This was an extreme environment swirling with temptation. Many people fell through the cracks and got wasted. The Grateful Dead created a home for Deadheads that could not be duplicated. The music and scene was much too fun to let it go of just because we sobered up and could no longer indulge our addictions. People blessed with recovery still went to shows. We danced and twirled but somehow a desire for those special bonds that we experienced in the rooms extended to tour. " TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS JUST ENOUGH" is one verse in the song " I NEED A MIRACLE". Our Twelve Steps tell us to " practice these principles in all of our affairs". It only seemed natural that we should gather together, hang out and have fun on tour. We typically would all descend on some local AA or NA meeting during our off days where we would continue to support each other. We began to organize, tour together and find strength in our connections to one another as Deadheads in Recovery. Those early days were much different than the way things are now. We gathered initially to party together drug free. No Table, No meetings and no real purpose other than to get together,have fun and stay clean. Initially, We called the group"The Wharf Rat Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. " That didn't last long. AA General Service Office would have nothing to do with us which was a blessing in disguise. We met out in the open at Grateful Dead shows during the set breaks. Nothing Anonymous about that! We did not meet the criteria of holding an established regular meeting or singularity of purpose that the General Service office wanted. I think the fact that we met at only at Dead shows really freaked them out. We dropped our affiliations and just called ourselves Wharf Rats. Early on a very different problem emerged which helped to define what we became. There were many Deadheads who saw our presence and spirit and wanted to be Wharf Rats some of whom had no problem with drugs or alcohol. Some had never used anything. Others were addicted to food , sex, gambling and the like but had no problem with chemicals. Still others were our family and friends who loved and supported us. This led to our very inclusive membership qualification "You are a Wharf Rat if you say you are". Many ,many people would be very surprised if they really understood how well integrated the Wharf Rats are into the whole Grateful Dead scene, helping out in all sorts of circumstances and striking a unique source of Concert going magic for a myriad of Deadheads. Several well-intentioned attempts to fashion the group in the mold of a traditional AA or NA 12 step group fell by the wayside. We really could not replace AA or NA in a meaningful way for most people nor should we. People need more than they can get on tour and at shows. Our niche became an entry point for Deadheads in crisis or a sort of safe zone for recovering Heads to support and love each other. Deadheads in recovery who had felt misunderstood in both Recovery meetings and by drug using folks at shows finally had a place of their own where we belonged. Some of us were such Big Addicts and such Big Deadheads that those infamous words in "TENNESSEE JED" became our Mantra! "THERE AIN'T NO PLACE I'D RATHER BE". We became Wharf Rats to the core. Who could of known that the synergy between recovery from addiction and The Grateful Dead Mojo would have so much power and meaning? So many of the lyrics we sang and danced to at shows became fixed in our minds as symbolic of another aspect of the new life with which we had been SO blessed to receive. Great old music took on entirely new dimensions. The beautiful music of the GRATEFUL DEAD with its' multi-faceted authenticity rocked us into happy destiny as it soothed our souls. The musical truth blanketed our minds in light of the twelve steps for living. "I NEED A MIRACLE" ,"WHARF RAT", "SCARLET BEGONIAS", "THE WHEEL" and ""BLACK PETER" became Wharf Rat Anthems synonymous with various spiritual axioms of recovery. Deep lifelong friendships formed within the group. We became a Fellowship within a Fellowship. Yes, We began to enjoy the music even more than ever and we began to have more fun than we ever dreamed humanly possible all without the thought of using anything except our God, our Love, The Grateful Dead and Ourselves. What could be better? It really is"all about the music". Don Bryant
  • marye
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    Spiral
    Thanks, congrats and continued good travels along the path!
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Welcome, Wharf-Rats.
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Congrats on the 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We love YOU too. Thanks for the kind words and the inspiration. Have a great time at Rosemount.peace, love and recovery, lefty
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GR8TFLPT CONGRATULATIONS One day at a time.............In a row
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"One day at a time.............In a row" "No matter where you go, there you are..." Buckaroo Bonzai
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congrats that is awesome! I am down here in so. cal if anyone knows any rats out here in my neck of the woods please let me know. I would like to meet up with some like minded people! Still hoping I get a chance to catch a show this year. We will see. Anyway hello to all and keep in touch.
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San Fernando Valley here.......Drop me a line........meet at the Forum......We shall surely meet as we trudge this road of happy destiny.......May God bless and keep you until then. :o) Broken heart don't feel so bad......You ain't got half of what you thought you had.
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Just a bump to y'all for getting and staying clean. I posted a "looking for" rant on the Dead forum awhile back because I hadn't heard from a friend. The forum moderator must have deleted it for being marginally inappropriate. Turns out the buddy I was looking for was found in his apartment surrounded by empty vodka bottles. Such a sweet, intelligent, funny, tormented soul. Last I spoke with him on the phone he claimed to be sober, but he either was pulling my leg or it didn't last long. Damn. Remember folks, if you're slipping and you're feeling alone, somebody out there loves you. If you don't feel like you can talk with your regular friends or family about it, post on this forum, call a hotline, or something, anything, to stay alive. You've got family right here. You've got family out there. "Ten years ago I walked this street, my dreams were riding tall Tonight I would be thankful, Lord, for any dream at all Some folks would be happy just to have one dream come true But everything you gather is just more that you can lose..." RIP Pablo. "May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung." You'll be with me in Denver in May. Oh, the countless paths we've walked, the countless shows we've ventured... the places and spaces... the beaches and woodlands... never more will those huge toes wiggle in the muds of glee...
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tj crowley only suggesstion i did not take was to 'give up the dead' when i got sober'clean 'wharfrat' just formed and was glad that there was/is an outlet while attending GD shows (other than exiting the show-which is also good advice) pass it on it
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tj crowley i do not agree w/ the wharf-rat sticker 'save your face' and have voiced my opinion for many years. when my clinets complete Tx, i supply them w/ a choice of NA/AA sticker but cut out the extra section of white suppling only the skeleton and diamond/triangle. it's not 'save your face' but save your ass!! i've spent many a year trying to look/sound and pretend all is well when my ass was falling off. so....it's not save my face but my arse and as always 'any A to save my A' beside..it looks better on the back on vehicles w/o extra white area of sticker
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Any wharf rats on here from tours 1988-1991, or from the sober newsletter "Grateful We're not Dead" that existed before that?
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tj crowley got sober in '88. joined the 'yellow ballon' tribe spring tour '88 what do ya need? tom
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I remember drinking bag wine on the haight with Feather and thinking, "life is good". Love that sister. But life changes and you change with it. I went out to Ohio looking for love and good times. Found both..... Did the marijuana maintenance program.... But hey that was for religious purposes, right? I used to come on Dead net in the nineties frying my ass off looking for a chat buddy. I realize now that no one can really have a conversation when they're that high. But even though I really enjoyed the company of the Ohio family, I realized that there was something missing.... It took a return to California to come to terms with my addiction. I was back on dope in no time and I developed schizophrenia just all of a sudden one day. I had been "taking a break" from the dope and it had been a while since I had used when the schizophrenia came on. Scared the holy livin hell out of me. Took three years to be diagnosed. During which time I was sober, well most of the time. I was sober for four years and then one day I guess I just decided to have a drink. No real pearls of wisdom coming from my direction, just think things are gonna work out. I can't get all caught up in the dope this time. No Meth, crack, coke, heroin.... just booze and weed right? Now I'm back in school. Been back in school since last year. Been drinking again for about three months. I'm hanging on to my future by the skin of my teeth. What I really want to do is go on tour. Maybe tour will make it all clear again. Maybe I'll run into some kind Warfrats and I'll put the booze behind me. I feel alone a lot. Not like I felt when I was a teenager and I was exploring the coast. When I was young and influencial and I loved the music and the music loved me back. But just alone. Not many people my age at the school I'm going to and even though there are heads here I'm just not reaching out. Maybe I'll meet up with some kind kids on tour next year, or the year after, or...... when I have time. maybe I'll stop then. Well a toast to the love of the dead and the love we share there. Peace to Feather, Star and all the other Haight street kids over the years... may we be immortal. Forever as one. One people, One Heart, One Destiny. One LoveZelda
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17 years 5 months
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I'm not a Wharf Rat and I defer to them, but all kind thoughts and beams of strength and courage to you.
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15 years 8 months
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Hi heads, finally got logged in. just celebrated 11 yrs "sparklinclean" in Jan. Peace all.
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wow-u got a lot goin on....i am almost 1 year sober...i got my masters in 2005...it was a long strange trip for sure...hang in there...dual diagnosis is tough, but u can accomplish anything if u put ur mind to it....hang in there-peace, love, light, n sobriety
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I divorced h on feb 25 05 as a gift to myself i want to get a phat wrap i want to support someone doing the right thing if i can. So anybody get with that give me a line love to hook up or if you con help me out let me know thanks peace. "Nothing left to do but smile smile smile"
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Just sayin "Hi" again. Was sober for many years and toured and went to Rainbow sober in the 80's and 90's. Many yellow balloon nights. I relapsed for many years, you know the story...got too busy and successful for meetings...anyway, I'm back and sober 6 months. Very active in A.A. Going to an A.A. campout (indoors) in Idaho where I live this weekend. Maybe I'll see you at a show if Phil and Friends make it up to my neck of the woods. Nobody plays in rural Idaho, but Maybe Seattle or Missoula or something. I'm living the good life, staying sober and close to the earth. Be well. Russ K.
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you can do this thing ,but the booze won't help . You already know that . It took guts to reach out and I believe that we are all in this together so lean on us. I didn't get it the first time , second time.................. but I celebrated 19 years last Nov. My friend Jimmy C says one day at a time in a row, I like that cause thats how we do it. Sending love your way!peace,love and recovery, lefty
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17 years 4 months
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tj crowley it's one day at a time (ODAT) WE ARE MIRACLE's
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15 years 9 months
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In NA they say alcohol is a drug..period. Be careful girl. Slippery ground. May the sunlight of the spirit shine on you always.
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tj crowley theotherone2...your right and in AA they use the alcohol only to justify/rationalize use of other than alcohol. a drug is a drug is a ........ no matter how i('we') put it into our system it still needs to get to the brain where it does what it's suppossed to. whether it's legal or il-legal..over the counter or under the counter,,shot, popped, snorted or smoked...to the brain it gets effecting neuro-transmitters appropriately. kkep it simple...don't use and go to meetings any A to save your A
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Well, I have twenty four hours now. Maybe I'll be able to celebrate my recovery on Valentines day. Thanks for all the support and kinds words.Zelda
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24 hrs is 24 hrs more than ya had yesterday, so congrats! you don't ever have to use again if you don't want to. & the best part is that you don't have to do it by yourself!
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All any of us in recovery has is another 24. A day at a time. Whatever you did to stay clean for the past 24, why not try it again today? Congrats!! Keep comin back. "I'll get up and fly away"
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That's what I was going to mention. It's great to have a record of success but whether it's days, months, or years we got there ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just like the music, the one comes around every day and what came before doesn't really count. We have to make it through this measure. Take it easy and do it one minute at a time if necessary.
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Right On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Peace, Love and Recovery, Lefty
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tj crowleyi used holidays all the time.....thanksgiving, xmas, fried-day(s), tuesdays, doris day(s), so celebrate not only being six feet up sucking wind but for not using not using is contra to our being CELEBRATE EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!! congrats
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tj crowley yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift that's why it's the/a present
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15 years 8 months
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I intend to be sober at the Chicago show on May 5th. I know nothing about this group, but see you all there.May innumerable beings benefit.
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1210 days........In a row.........And I still believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.......LOL.......( You know its gonna get stranger.......so,....Let's get on with the show! ).......And only by the Grace of that Power.....I'll meet many more wharfrats at the 2 shows in Chicago, 1 show in Denver, 1 show in Los Angeles, 1 show in Mountain view, and a show at the gorge.......One Show at a Time.....So, lack of power is my dilemma.......I have to find that power......The BB tells usme......There is One who has all power. That One is God.......And the BB tells me exactly where to find Him.......and may you find Him........NOWIn order to be in the presence....You must be in the present...........Marvel in the ordinary (((HUGS))) Lefty............Congrats Zelda(((HUGS)))...........May innumerable beings benefit.......Thanks for that one Unborn Poet(((HUGS)))..........(((HUGS))) to ALL......And you shall surely meet some of us as you trudge this road.......( tour this tour ).......of HAPPY destiny........May God bless you and keep you until then. :o) Peace, Love , and Recovery Jimmy C. November and more as I wait for the score. They're tellin' me forgivness is the key to every door.
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15 years 8 months
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plus 6 months as of today. grateful for recovery and grateful to have seen what we saw and been where we were too. first show 7/7/86, last show 7/9/95 and a couple hundred days between. sorry i missed out on the fellowship at the shows, i guess i just wasn't ready. thank god i survived long enough to be here now. thank you wharfrats. any michigan sober heads out there, drop me a line
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17 years 3 months
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Well, today is my birthday, my real birthday. Getting older, but lovin' every minute of it. I can't wait for the shows, I'll be going to 2 in Philly. I love to read these posts becasue you all remind me that I'm doing the right thing. I know that I am, but you help remind me. I love my life, I love that I know what I'm doing now and that I remember all the great things I do and the great shows that I see and hear. I just celebrated 39 years of life and I've got 4 years+ of sober life. One day at a time is right.Someone recently posted that saying, "No matter where you go, there you are." I love that! Enjoy yourselves and celebrate every day!!!! Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!
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15 years 9 months
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I like the posts that is so true I have to hear it and see it to believe it but it is IT!! I thought I would just wonder round till I came to the end but I will have 425 days on the 28th God willing- anyone who wants to drop me a line would be appreciated i was hesitant to go to any shows but I decided to get tix for worcester and hartford but worried I might "glorify" the scene and forget what I am - anyone else going those shows clean and sober? I'm gettin a miracle EVERY DAY!!!
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Hi everyone, my name is Brian and I'm New to the Wharf Rats. My sponsor and I were wondering if anyone is goig to the phiily fri show and to Derek trucks band in Reading,Pa April4? also, Mountain jam at Hunter mtn. and the Beacon run. Ia m relatively new to sobriety and it would be great to meet some sober people down at the shows to " keep it simple " and not as tempting . My e-mail address is BSharp267@gmail.com. Thanks
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Welcome aboard. This bus has a new driver, greater than me or you. Good that you're connecting before you start goin to shows. We dont do this alone. Im sure you will find some Rats in your area, and when you get to your first sober show look for the WR table. We are everywhere. Follow the yellow balloons. Heres a site you should check out.. http://liwarfrats.sampasite.com/liwharfrats/ Peace...."I'll get up and fly away"
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17 years 2 months
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Well thought I'd keep everybody posted... I had one week yesterday!! I'm gonna go to the show at the Gorge in Quincy so maybe I'll see some of you there!!Zelda
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17 years 4 months
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tj crowley congrats on ODAT be aware of walking (dancing) into the lions lair tho the support (warf-rats) is on location, the den is still il-advised in early sobriety remember..walk leggs walked in to venue can walk you out should the surrounding(s) be enticing/uncomfortable bring sober folk w/ you to show(s) !!!!!!!!!!
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New to being sober and am looking to met any one who is going to the show in may.Would like to met other sober heads at the show.
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tj crowley too often i have heard in session (and/or at mtg's) of folk relapsing because they were not vigilant re; sobriety/abstinence... attending (grateful)dead gigs is a p p & t (people place and thing)!!!! as Elmer said in his approach to the wabbit....'be weary carful' anything 'we' put before our sobriety can/will set up for relapse
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havent posted in a while....Happy B-day Jenny n congrats on all of u newly sober folks!! If we are smart we will remember that we are all new to sobriety no matter how many 24 hours we have under our belts....Finally-finally-finally-gettin close to that one year mark.....cant believe it...only through the grace of God n the power of AA....n knowin some great rats too...Lefty! Hope to see some of you in April!!!love n light
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Easter night will be the 38th anniversary of my first Dead show which was 4/12/71 Pittsburgh .. NRPS (with Jer on Pedal Steel) opened ... The night was magical and I was on The Bus .. was also a very colorful chemically induced purple haze. Saw many shows over the years before I got clean and sober. My sobriety date is 12/31/82 ... first shows sober were the Hampton '87 Spring run ... Have attended many WharfRat meetings at many shows since then...Happy to say that this will be the first show that my 18 & 20 yr old children have attended ... although they were raised on The Dead, my wife was against taking young children to shows. Can't wait to shake these old bones with my young'uns. See you all at the Yellow Balloon 'jubilee'
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15 years 8 months
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would like to hook up with Wharf rats, live in bella vista AR a retirement community (not manydead fans here!) need a person to identify with especially after all the TRIPS, most of these AA folks have no idea, please respond
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17 years 4 months
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Hope to run into you at the show!!!!
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17 years 1 month
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Anyone going to Denver? Maybe doin' a table?TommyO
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15 years 9 months
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3 days+ and no rats on the forum???????????
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17 years 4 months
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Whoooo Hoooo dont need dope to dance!!!
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16 years 7 months
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Is so cool :o) November and more as I wait for the score. They're tellin' me forgivness is the key to every door.
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I first found the Warf rat's by mistake stumbling up the steep lawn with my fists clinging 2 overpriced beers. As I paused to catch my balance I noticed that i was in a 12 step like environment. I don't want to make any assumptions but with any luck i will make my first sober shows on the 4th and 5th of May!! ONE DAY/Show at a time. The music known as the Grateful Dead started 40 years ago. It has never stopped. It will live on as long as the Legend remains alive through all of us deadheads. Let the songs be sung and the rhythms played in combo with perfectly improvised melody. Grateful till I'm Dead Joe
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17 years 5 months
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hi folks--there is now a Meet Me at... topic for each stop on the tour, so feel free to discuss local logistics there, though you're of course welcome to discuss them here too. Whatever works! Thanks! ME