Grateful Dead

Hi folks; I have been attending Wharf Rat meeting at shows for a long time 32 years sober. I know of a few rock groups like moe that has 12 Step groups as well. My niece who is sober is in Denver for the Umphrey's McGee shows and she is with friends that are drinking and using and whats to get in touch with some sober folks. Does anyone know if Umphrey's has a group? Thanks

Hey, does anyone on here know where I could find more Dead-themed recovery stickers? I love the ones I get at shows, but I always lose them. Plus, I'd like to give some to friends. Pins would be really cool, too.

I've been clean for more than five years, now, and I thought I had it made. Two months ago my wife of 20 years put my two beautiful daughters in her minivan and left. I thought being dope-sick and detox was the most horribly lonely experience of my life. Not any more. About a month later I was in a car accident. I called my wife from the hospital, and she told me she couldn't come to pick me up and that I would have to deal with it. My wallet, money, credit cards, everything was in my car at a garage 20 miles away. The rural Pennsylvania police seemed disappointed that my blood tests came back clean - Long hair is still frowned upon here in Apple Country. They left, and I walked 17 miles to my home. On the way I passed several acquaintances of my wife's family, as well as one of her brothers and an uncle - all of whom waved cheerfully and kept driving. The loneliness - the emptiness - is beyond description. A few weeks later I bought a used car. Paid cash, figured I would go forward and work through everything. Two days later I was stopped by the Hwy Patrol, who confiscated the title to the car, etc, because the dealer had fraudulently obtained, titled, and sold the car. I am now out the money, the car, AND my family. At this point, I am almost beginning to laugh. I couldn't make this up! But I am still clean, though my knuckles are frequently white and my teeth are gradually be ground down. Well, thanks for listening. It's 6 degrees outside and I think a brisk walk may just be the ticket. Peace.

so sorry for the completely excessive load of trouble on your plate these days. Welcome to these parts, anyway; there are good folks here.

Yeah. Thanks. Didn't mean to bum anyone out. Just needed to get it out, and I think there are a total of 7 heads within a hundred miles. Peace.

This is a little premature but are there any WharfRat Meetings In NYC or will there be some sort of booth at the run of ABB shows at the Beacon theater in March! Need some Family Love in NYC! Thanks in advance and keep Smile Smile Smilin'! Tommy

Hey now Mike T! I'm glad you have shared your story with all of us.I hope that your pain shared is now pain lessened. I know this is of little consequence in your current situation, but stories like yours are what helped me to see that there was hope for my recovery a little more than two yrs ago. Initially coming in the doors of a program I was convinced that everyone in the room was undoubtedly full of shit. I mean really anyone can go into a meeting and share how good life has become, sing kum-ba-ya and do trust falls. But for me it was the old timers who, when the chips were down, were still committed to staying clean in spite of their troubles that made a believer outta me!Here were addicts/alcoholics who despite some tremendous adversity, were not only continuing to live a principled life substance free...but were actually seeking ways to grow more and learn from their own and other's experience. So thank you for having shared because it's stories like yours that bring real hope to the table for the rest of us! Love & Light to You! Aaron

If you find any would you PLEASE let me know?? Thank You Shea R. Santa Cruz Ca. 831 335 8470 or shealrich@gmail.com

I've been smoking (not tobacco) for about the past 25 years, and have been clean and sober for 1 week. I REALLY need some support right now, this is much more difficult than I thought it would be, and right now I just want to smoke. I realize that if I do, my job is gone, but right now the desire to get high is almost overwhelming. I have appointments scheduled next week, but that's not helping me now. What can I do?

Well, I have a new clean date. Really struggling to stay clean. I've had problems in the past with staying on track but now it just seems that my lack of community is killing me. I go to meetings but there are few people that I truly relate to or trust. Growing up on the streets of Seattle and San Fransisco really took their toll and while I have done a lot to heal those periods in my life I find myself trying to periodically return to the familiar. The Haight is still the Haight with me there or not. I joined this group with the hopes that someone would recognize me or my name and I could find out how some of the kids I grew up with are doing. "Normal" people have high school forums they can participate in but since my High Schools were Larkin Street Youth Center and the Orion Center in Seattle... I don't have many places to get to meet people I can really relate to. I currently work in the legal field as a paralegal. Kind of unbelievable really. My son is almost eighteen and ready to move out. He's the polar opposite of me in so many ways. I pray for that he survives his adolescence and young adulthood better than I did but it's not looking promising. All that being said, I am on my second step. I'm grateful for so many things, my car, my apartment... on and on. I always told myself that there were so many things I was going to try and do when I grew up but it only seems that I'm caught in the grind of trying to provide for my son and provide for my needs or superfluous wants. I want to step back into the Dead community but I don't want to get loaded. Being away has changed me... some things I'm proud of... others, not so much. I am writing my story one line at a time... my life that is. I had a different profile name but I am deactivating that account. There was someone from my past that was stalking my posts and making comments about schizophrenia. Such a serious illness and super not cool to use against someone. Very childish, immature, hurtful... But using addicts are often just that... Zelda

I knew about this group during my drinking and drugging days, and I respected it's purpose, though I didn't believe I would ever be interested in considering myself a WharfRat. So far, AA is working for me, but I'm Grateful that there's a sober group that I can relate to on more than one level.

Hey guys in new to the site, looking for connections in Indiana, Lafayette area. Anyone around there gimme a holler

Hello People, Good to see some life here on this group. I can relate to many of the posts. I have been sober 12 years. I had a strange journey to getting sober and had other periods of recovery as well. I had the good luck and fortune to attend a Wharf Rat meeting at a Dead show in the late 90's. It was very empowering. I attended all my shows sober. I am sure it would have been fun to be high at a show but my drinking & using reached a point where it was no longer "fun". I could relate to one poster talking about life changing. I am a father now with a 15 year old son. My son appreciates the Dead even though he is young in years. I taught him to be patient when listening to a live Dead show because sometimes you have to sit through some noodling before the magic happens. My life is very regimented now. After all the years I have a good job and a career. For most of my life I struggled financially. I spent much of my life with heavy debt and behind the eight ball so to speak. Things are good now from a material standpoint. I'd like to have more time for concerts and sitting in a room with a candle listening to the Dead. Right now sometimes a half hour late at night is the only free time I get. I enjoy listening to concerts while I drive. I do have a few friends of mine who appreciate the Dead. I reached a point of acceptance that I am just at a busy stage of life. Right now I have four days off. Free time is precious to me - especially as I get older. I turn 47 in a few days... That's a trip. Sobriety is far from perfect. I don't think it is natural to not be able to escape your problems. I have found escapes besides drugs though. Long walks with the Ipod, reading, meditation, staring at the stars - these are some of the ways I escape the stress of life. Being sober keeps me in the game and keeps me from getting dysfunctional. My first year of sobriety sucked. Things didn't get better until year 3. In my first year of sobriety I got divorced, lost a house, and filed bankruptcy. It was a traumatic year. I got real hard. I worked out like crazy. I got away from my Deadhead roots. Sobriety has been a journey. I had to cultivate my spirituality to make it bearable. I have grown to believe in the existence of a higher power. It is hard for me to believe something like a bird's wing just occurred through random mutations. A feather is a marvel of engineering - remarkably strong and yet light. My new wife isn't a Deadhead but she is a good life partner. I don't have any magic answers for those struggling. My experience has been that it gets better. Sometimes I have to do foot work or take risks. My higher power doesn't read the want ads for me for jobs and he doesn't pay my bills. He helps though and those trippy coincidences happen sometimes. I have to stay teachable. Even though I have my musical sub-culture I still need to operate in the world at large with people who see things differently than me. I am going to go back to the concert I am listening too and enjoy a great version of "Fire on the Mountain". Good night.

Thanks, congrats and continued good travels along the path!

Food For thought for those who may not KNOW: Here is a little HISTORY OF THE WHARF RATS for some of you new comers. I wrote these words fourteen years ago. They stand true today. YOU ARE A WHARF RAT IF YOU SAY YOU ARE-NO JUDGEMENT-NO REQUIREMENT!The Wharf Rats were founded by primarily clean and sober recovering addicts and alcoholics. What you find in the shows and generally throughout the wharf rat scene in no way resembles what the Wharf Rat scene started out as. The Wharf Rats have evolved and maturated if you will. Wharf Rats started out as a group of people in recovery on tour. It began as friendships by Deadheads bonded by Grateful Dead music and mutual recovery from Drug and Alcohol addiction. Some of us feared disclosing our status as Deadheads at our AA and NA meetings. We also had to be extremely vigilant at Dead shows. Some of us realized that Unity is one of the greatest healing powers that we have in recovery. We knew that there were other clean and sober Deadheads around but where were they and how could we get them together? The catalyst for the Wharf Rat Group was the overwhelming since of isolation that addicts and alcoholics were subjected to in Dead shows when we had to go it alone.This was an extreme environment swirling with temptation. Many people fell through the cracks and got wasted. The Grateful Dead created a home for Deadheads that could not be duplicated. The music and scene was much too fun to let it go of just because we sobered up and could no longer indulge our addictions. People blessed with recovery still went to shows. We danced and twirled but somehow a desire for those special bonds that we experienced in the rooms extended to tour. " TOO MUCH OF EVERYTHING IS JUST ENOUGH" is one verse in the song " I NEED A MIRACLE". Our Twelve Steps tell us to " practice these principles in all of our affairs". It only seemed natural that we should gather together, hang out and have fun on tour. We typically would all descend on some local AA or NA meeting during our off days where we would continue to support each other. We began to organize, tour together and find strength in our connections to one another as Deadheads in Recovery. Those early days were much different than the way things are now. We gathered initially to party together drug free. No Table, No meetings and no real purpose other than to get together,have fun and stay clean. Initially, We called the group"The Wharf Rat Group of Alcoholics Anonymous. " That didn't last long. AA General Service Office would have nothing to do with us which was a blessing in disguise. We met out in the open at Grateful Dead shows during the set breaks. Nothing Anonymous about that! We did not meet the criteria of holding an established regular meeting or singularity of purpose that the General Service office wanted. I think the fact that we met at only at Dead shows really freaked them out. We dropped our affiliations and just called ourselves Wharf Rats. Early on a very different problem emerged which helped to define what we became. There were many Deadheads who saw our presence and spirit and wanted to be Wharf Rats some of whom had no problem with drugs or alcohol. Some had never used anything. Others were addicted to food , sex, gambling and the like but had no problem with chemicals. Still others were our family and friends who loved and supported us. This led to our very inclusive membership qualification "You are a Wharf Rat if you say you are". Many ,many people would be very surprised if they really understood how well integrated the Wharf Rats are into the whole Grateful Dead scene, helping out in all sorts of circumstances and striking a unique source of Concert going magic for a myriad of Deadheads. Several well-intentioned attempts to fashion the group in the mold of a traditional AA or NA 12 step group fell by the wayside. We really could not replace AA or NA in a meaningful way for most people nor should we. People need more than they can get on tour and at shows. Our niche became an entry point for Deadheads in crisis or a sort of safe zone for recovering Heads to support and love each other. Deadheads in recovery who had felt misunderstood in both Recovery meetings and by drug using folks at shows finally had a place of their own where we belonged. Some of us were such Big Addicts and such Big Deadheads that those infamous words in "TENNESSEE JED" became our Mantra! "THERE AIN'T NO PLACE I'D RATHER BE". We became Wharf Rats to the core. Who could of known that the synergy between recovery from addiction and The Grateful Dead Mojo would have so much power and meaning? So many of the lyrics we sang and danced to at shows became fixed in our minds as symbolic of another aspect of the new life with which we had been SO blessed to receive. Great old music took on entirely new dimensions. The beautiful music of the GRATEFUL DEAD with its' multi-faceted authenticity rocked us into happy destiny as it soothed our souls. The musical truth blanketed our minds in light of the twelve steps for living. "I NEED A MIRACLE" ,"WHARF RAT", "SCARLET BEGONIAS", "THE WHEEL" and ""BLACK PETER" became Wharf Rat Anthems synonymous with various spiritual axioms of recovery. Deep lifelong friendships formed within the group. We became a Fellowship within a Fellowship. Yes, We began to enjoy the music even more than ever and we began to have more fun than we ever dreamed humanly possible all without the thought of using anything except our God, our Love, The Grateful Dead and Ourselves. What could be better? It really is"all about the music". Don Bryant

thanks for posting that.

I am so glad to know this forum is here~! The local AA meetings are OK, and it helps me to attend sporadically, but I feel I am a "lone wolf" and this group seems more up my ally... over 70 dead shows under my belt,quite a few very sober... but seeing JGB and seeing Garcia/Gris acoustic at the Warfield was like going to church for me... I am not nor was I ever very convinced by organized religion (other than Buddhism...) but that seeing JGB and Jerry w/ GRIS AT THE WARFIELD WAS SOMETHING MAGICAL AND SPIRITUAL FOR ME... the drunk college kids behind us kinda spoiled it one night until the Heads in residency in the front row shut em up... more later! ANY LOUISIANA WHARF RATS OUT THERE!!!??? I still go to shows around New Orleans and BR, but enjoy them better now w/o spending my hard earned cheese on beer. Shout if you out there. Captain Green (Zappa cover band) plays Chelsea's 9/11 AMERICAN AQUARIUM plays Varsity in BR this SAT night. ANY BATON ROUGE WHARF RATS OUT THERE??? These guys are supposed to really do it right.

Your story makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. Love the grit... I hope that when the chips are down for me I don't waiver. It's good to know you were able to keep your chin up and walk w/ your head held high... it must've felt great to see the looks on the Cops faces when blood test came back clean!!! Keep on keepin' on, wish the best for you!

Find a pattern interrupt..... Take a walk, get some exercise, call a friend, meditate....experiment with anything that helps you break out of this single moment where you may not be at your best. Then move on to the next moment. Personally, exercise and meditation work the best for me.

Listening or playing music helps me a lot!

Still haven't seen any of the boys clean yet but hit a STS9 show last night in Grand Rapids clean with a couple other deadheads I hang with here in Kalamazoo. It makes a huge difference in my recovery having like minded individuals in my circle because although the end results are the same no matter where you use, the tour experience and family environment is much different than most of society and for me it's hard to stay clean in a society that says using is acceptable. Any way the first part of the show was kinda shaky but once the music was playing it was amazing. Can't wait to go to my next show and most definitely only wanna go with other clean heads. Looking forward to making a trip down to Indy soon for a Rats Drainditch meeting too. I lost everything in my using including memories of shows and in the end even attending. Glad to be getting that back and consider it one of the greatest gifts of recovery. Big shoutout to Charlie in S.F. for reachin out to me when I first was trying to get clean and my oldest friend Jim in Nashville for putting me in touch to WR online. Not using Facebook anymore but if you are and aren't in the fb group, then get involved. Met some real cool cats in there. NFA Nigel One

Found out I have cirrhosis of the liver. Never a heavy drinker and I haven't used any other drugs for 35 years. I had my last drinks [2 Guiness Stouts and a couple of glasses of Port] last Friday while playing Pinochle with some friends. It'll be difficult to not have a few drinks with my friends when we get together but I don't want to make it any worse than it is already. I guess I'll be drinking seltzer from now on. I hope to be able to handle the alcohol free life.

Thanks for sharing that! I am 18 months sober (yesterday) and as you said..things get better. I did a 60 day residential recovery program and really became willing, open, and honest. At about one year I was in a high pressure job and struggling because I began to take my will back. I was wanting my ex wife back and not accepting what life was giving me. I took some time off work, then took on a less stressful role there, and worked hard on me and in becoming accepting. Low and behold, through a lot of introspection, meditation, and prayer, I began to really love MYSELF for who I am and realized the relationship I was in with my ex really wasn't a good one for either of us. I moved on, and am now quite content with my single guy life, and cherish life for what it is and am truly grateful that I can see and walk the path my higher power is showing me. Namaste!

Hello there. I am new to this lovely community here. I have really fallen victim first to alcoholism and then after becoming sober I seemed to have lost my place. I put down my guitar, turned off the music, the only things that made me happy. It was as if I couldn't allow myself to be happy all I knew was I couldn't continue to use drugs and alcohol anymore. I have just recently found a way to get back to the music and I remember hearing about The Wharf Rats, its been a year or so since Ive been to any show, but from the days I was more steadily making it to live shows. I just want to say hello and thanks.

Hi all, I am planning on going to Chicago for the "Fare Thee Well" shows. All of my buddies cannot make it (for different reasons) and I am looking for some sober people to hang with during the shows. Is anyone here going? Thanks

Greetings Craigmarti,I have just mailed in my ticket order so I am hoping to be going to the July 5th show in the pit. I have been clean since 1983 and have been to a few shows since then :) so I would be happy to hang out. I will be coming from Minneapolis and if anyone in the Metro Area is driving down I might be interested in helping pay for gas. Also, if anyone knows a place to crash or share the cost of lodgings while in Chi town let me know. I grew up there but left in '75 so I no longer have connections there. Does anyone know if the is a Wharf-Rat meeting planned during the break? I have never been inside Soldier Field so I don't know the layout but if anyone has info I would appreciate it.

Hey! I'll be there!! 3 years Clean & Serene & Loving the Life I Live... I'm flying out on 7/3 from NY..Where are you coming from?

New to this forum. Hope to see clean and sober folks in Chicago!

Look for the yellow balloons. Will try to keep this forum updated about about it best I can.

These will be my first shows sober - from your comment, I am guessing I find Wharf Rats by looking for the yellow balloons? It'll be important for me to hook up with Wharf Rats at these shows!

Hey Gourdgod! I have a place if you still need it; at least for 7/3 & 4!I'm flying back to NY on 7/5. We could split the cost or something; I have 2 beds in the room...

I am interested in hooking up with Wharf Rats at Soldier Field too. I am hoping there will be a central location in the parking lot or Deadhead village.

I'll be there for all 3 shows too. Let's stay in touch.

I'll be in Chicago all 3 nights, thanks to golden tix from GDTSTOO TOO. Feeling grateful in the midst of chaos, and looking to connect with fellow WharfRats, and give my peace to the chaos. Been a Rat for 17 yrs., see y'all in Chi-town (~);-}

Thank you for your post! I too will be on day 1 and am looking forward to the gift to connect with the music and fellow WRs. Just knowing another fellow WR is out there too will be helpful! Will have a good support with me for the show. We have said we were the "two in 10,000 that come for the show." These days of clarity certainly have been wonderful. Be well and thank you for the post.

Hey Now, good to meet ya! First thing I'll do is look for those yellow balloons, so I'll know where to catch the set break circle. Big venue like Soldiers, may take some finding. I'll look for you there. Peace

Me too! I would love some Wharf Rat support...

Thanks to the music, sobriety and a community that still believes in love and respect. After one set's aside the weight of negative influence the world does open up and you can finally tune in. I have never attended a wharf rat meeting but on my journey I have met some grate brothers and sisters at shows who showed me genuine love and that true influence helped shape a better world and myself. SO THANKS!!!! See you in Chicago :)

Excellent. Will look for the balloons and hope to see you. Grateful for today!B

Going to shows in Chicago. These will be my first sober. Looking for like minded people to meet up with I am familiar with Wharfrats meeting at shows but want to make some contacts before the dates. I am in NJ but would like to hear from anyone going sober. Thanks!!!

Ok, you found it already! Great, this is the spot to connect w other like minded. I'll PM you, check your inbox.

Hey All, Me and a buddy both sober will be in Chi as well. Definitely will be looking for the Yellow Balloons and table etc. @Brianinnj I sent you a PM from your post on the other page.. Keep in touch. Keep on Trudging!!

Hey guys! looking for some folks to hook up with in Santa Clara. Its been a while since I've been to a show and hoping to find some like minded folks to hang with...will definitely look for balloons but would love to connect before hand...Smiles and Hugs

Hi, how can I get a "You Don't Need Drugs To Dance" shirt for the Santa Clara shows?

Checkout WR website or FB WR

hi friends, i am sober many years now and will be going to the show on sunday 5th was wondering if i can team up with any one who is also on that road and going on the 5th? thanks

Coming all the way from Florida to see The Dead for the last time. Looking to find and hang out with all the Wharf Rats. Been a "rat" for over 20 years and am psyched to see the boys and share some fellowship. PM me if you'll be at the show!

Not gonna make Chicago, but will be at both Levi's shows...feeling lots of emotion as I begin the all too familiar process of getting ready for shows..especially with all the drama with these being the absolute last shows with all the remaining members of the band. I am also extremely excited just to see everyone, to be able to look out at a sea of deadheads, all dancing and singing along with the music we know like we know our own name...I know we all miss Jerry so much...he passed on my birthday and his passing forever changed how I 'celebrate' that day...I totally believe that his spirit will be there with us as we conjure up that X factor, the good lord willing..I'll be looking for the WR table!!!

Got shut out for tickets to Chicago, don't want to pay Stub Hub prices. If any sober head has an extra they are willing to sell for face please send me a private message. BTW my last run was the Phila Spectrum Sept 1995 my sobriety date is 9/15/95. Peace & love to all. The good Lord willing, if he says I may.........

....hello friends!! Great to see this page getting so much attention. My name's Paul (Pauly-P) and i live in Somerset Co. New Jersey. I am lucky enough to be going to all three nights in Chicago!! I'm very excited about hooking up with fellow Rats at the shows in-between sets, backstage. By the grace of God, the Fellowship and clean and sober DeadHeads, I celebrated 25 yrs this past April 15th. Talk about your "miracle"...we all are. I cant put into words how epic this July 4th weekend is going to be. Following the Grateful Dead, the Other Ones, the Dead, Furthur, Ratdog, etc for the past 37 yrs has been an amazing journey, to say the least. The friends I've made and the friends I've lost over the years gives me time to reflect. Living a clean and sober lifestyle is truly a gift from God (Your Higher Power)and there is NO WAY, I would be here today without His intervention!! In regards to the Chicago shows, my wife and I are flying in on July 3rd and staying at the Fairfield Suites, Downtown, Rivernorth. Just gonna be site seeing during the day and dancing all night. I would love to meet up with folks before the shows. Hell, we might even be on the same flight out of Newark!! Peace to all my friends going to the shows. It promises to be a legendary weekend!! We all have today, make it the best! Pauly-P