Grateful Dead

There is nothing that can heal the loss of a child! But the Dead's music does help distract me. Particularly High Time, Sugaree, Must have been the roses...Also listening to "Old and In the Way" has been in my music circuit quite a bit for the past 8 monthsMuch Love!

In January 1981 some friends and I decided to Prank Ronald *spit* Reagan's inauguration festivities by attending in full-on dayglo freakflag gear, the idea being to have us some fun and blow some Republican minds. Instead it was my mind that got blown, as my lysergically augmented perceptions were receiving strong beams of vicious hostility from those to the right (including one Travis-Bickell-like crewcutted dude who sent hostile murderous mental transmissions my way while following me around at stalking distance) but also from some more serious politically-motivated protest-types to my left. What was I doing there? What's the point, of anything? When the parade went by, Nancy in a bright orange/red dress, I lost it and experienced my first and last truly Bad Trip. Fortunately nobody else was at the Jefferson Memorial at the time (there was a parade!) and the TJ quotes and the green/white marble there were somewhat calming; enough so that I was somehow in my existential despair able to find my way back to the Georgetown frathouse where we were going to crash, put on somebody's headphones and play the first tape I could find: a King Biscuit broadcast of some 1980 Nassau Coliseum stuff, as I recall. Terrapin. Essentially Garcia talked me all the way down merely by singing "faced with mysteries dark and vast, statements just seem vain at last." At that moment, it was the only thing in the Universe that made sense. And it was enough.

My friend Sheila died, unexpectedly, on August 1, 2009. Coinciding with Jerry's Birthday and the beginning of "The Days Between," I found Robert Hunter's words and Jerry's music for this awesome song, late in Jerry's catalog, to be great help in making it through this time. We had been to many shows together as well as with our Deadhead group of friends, from Shoreline to Vegas where we saw our last three GD shows in May of 1995. "The Days Between" was the song played underneath the picture slideshow at her memorial service. The song, along with all of the Grateful Dead catalog are a special way of remembering Sheila and connecting with the world of "kind" friends. Mikky Mark

In the late nineties I spent 25 days in the county clink for driving with a suspended license. I think the cops were just upset because after seeing the dead stickers on my car and not finding any contraband (whew!!) they hit me with the full extent during sentencing. Who knew you could get 25 days for not paying a speeding ticket! I was allowed to bring one book with me for my stay. I brought MY bible..."Box of Rain" by Robert Hunter. I had a lot of trouble sleeping, I just couldn't seem to relax (could you?). So I would create a setlist during the day, make sure I had all the songs i was going to "play" memorized, and when it came time to sleep I would close my eyes and the show would begin. I would make them as elaborate as i could, taking pieces from the 32 shows i got to see firsthand and cutting and pasting them together to create "mind-shows" It has been 15 years now, and whenever I have trouble sleeping I close my eyes and let the show begin..... P.S. The shows always open with Help on the Way!!

prior to my first show in 87, I was your typical "meatalhead", always with the black concert shirt on. seemingly more concerned about complaining about the world than any thing else. the world seemed grim, and cold, the only release seemed to be metal shows where the only emotion that seemed to be expressed was hate and rage. to fit in you needed to wear a black tee shirt and jeans uniform and think that just about everything sucked. then came my first dead show at alpine in 87. I WAS COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY!! I spend the majority of the show with my jaw on the ground. here were 45 thousand people all celebrating the fact that there all different, and dancing with pure joy. i was moved beyond belief. 45 thousand people celebrating beauty instead of hate, difference verses conformity. I was converted. the next year in 88 I when to all 4 shows the summer of 88, and my birthday just so happened to be on the Thursday night show, for an encore they played the beatles, "black bird". this seemed like they were playing just for me, i was re- born if you will in to a world of beauty and love. Truly I was only waiting for that moment to be free.

there are many ways that the dead have inspired and affected my life. but the one thing that sticks out in my mind is the day my best friend drifter (DRFTR) died. He passed on while listening to "RIPPLE", and to this day everytime i hear that song it makes me feel inspired instead of sad. knowing that he died with absolutely nothing to call his own, but was very happy about it. he lived his life touring the country, going to festies, and just being a silly prankster pirate, he was an amazing man and we all miss him so very much. everytime i listen to the dead it makes me think of him and inspires me to get out there and make others as happy as he did. thank u unkle drift for being the man that u were and for always looking out for ur kiddz from the festy in the sky............WE MISS U PIRATE!!!!!!!!! KIDDZ 4 LIFE!!!!!!!

A few years ago, my old dog, Yukkybear, a seventeen year best friend passed away. He left me here in the living room with lots of tears and Jerry singing "Lay me Down"....the old dog always loved when the Dead were playing and people were dancing, so it was a perfect goodbye. Love you Yukkybear!

my daughter was born to the Wheel... i went into labor 6 weeks early, before i had a chance to attend any birthing classes. as i struggled to cope with labor, the words of The Wheel came to me.....and with each contraction, i knew i was bound to cover just a little more ground... and that this was the big wheel turning by the grace of God. for hours, the Wheel was my birth mantra.....the only thing i used to get through labor. when the contractions got more intense, i tried just a little bit harder.... can't go back, and you can't stand still..... my daughter was born with all those words resonating through me, carrying me,giving me the strength and energy to keep going. that was almost 25 years ago. several years after my daughter was born, i had a chance to meet Hunter at a book signing. i wanted to give him back something, so i told him that story. He listened carefully, and then told me he was singing the Wheel in his upcoming tour, and he would remember that story when he sang it. I went to the first show of that tour, and he opened with... The Wheel

While I recovered from a Liver transplant in 2003 I brought a stack of CD's to the hospital to listen to before and after the surgery. The Terrapin Set ( March '90 ) was one that I played over and over and still have in my head. I still have the Throwin' Stones bouncin' around my brain everytime I think of my time in the hospital. My transplant surgeon was listening to the band on his Ipod during the surgery I was told... How apporpriate!! I relive all of my travels everytime I hear the band now on XM and what a fantasticly strange trip life has been. Happy to say I am now 100% healthy now and have become a Dad since my liver transplant. I am a cancer survivor and was fixed by this life saving surgery... Much thanks and eternally grateful to my donor!! When Phil says to tell the ones you love, please consider organ and tissue donation. See you all at the Circus soon, hopefully at Starlight in KC, site of my first show in 1985!!

Since the first time I saw the Dead in the early 1970's, the song "Ripple" was the one that drew me, clicked with my soul. The lyrics are so true to everything I believe and feel. It is the one song that HAS to be played at my funeral - some day.... In most cases, we never know how the ripples we make in our lives touch others or make a difference. Once in a while, in some serendipitous roll of the dice, we might come across someone with whom we have had a long-ago connection, or a connection through someone else. It is at those moments that we learn what the effect of our actions has been. Yes, "Ripple" is MY song. Namaste.

from the early days ( for me ) 1982 until jerry died I spent most of my time planning on when and where I would be going to see the Grateful Dead, having been born with Cystic Fibrosis a genetic disease that affects the lungs by filling up and suffocating those who are stricken with it, it wasn't until 1997 that I was diagnosed with My condition it's My belief that not only the Music from the Grateful Dead but the entire vibe that came along with whole scene is what allowed me to dance and feel symptom free for all of those years. Even today their Music fills me with the most beautiful memories that when I saw the Movie The Music Never Stopped I felt the same excitement and even got goosebumps when they entered the venue for the Show.

I remember like it was yesterday, I was @ a show and took a little too much fun stuff and wasn't sure how 2 handle it....I was lost in a group of thousands of people, and all the sudden I heard my friend (jason) yell my name and I explained 2 him how I was feeling, and all he said 2 me was: "Just close your eyes and listen 2 the music"....that did it 4 me...I danced and shook my bones all nite....Needless 2 say I went 2 Vegas this past fall, and it was probably one of my 1st shows sober and still did the same, danced like I did the 1st time I seen them....love you guys!!! Kat Johnson

In 1997, I had a life-altering (in a very good way!) event take place in my life while living in Japan: My daughter Mirano (Mimi) was born. At the time of her birth and during her infancy, my fear of "screwing up parenthood" bordered on paralyzing. I used to sing "Ripple" to her as a lullabye -- not because I liked the song as much as it was a song I could sing softly. I hadn't really thought about the words to that song, but the more it became one of her main lullabyes -- probably her main lullabye when I put her to bed -- the more the words rang true about what Mimi and I had in store. That is, we -- as parent and child -- have our own paths to follow that may be "no simple highway," and that path is for each of our "steps alone." But come what may, "if I knew the way, I would take you home." It made me realize I didn't have to be the perfect Dad, just one who was always there while our "simple highway" -- whether really simple or not -- goes in the same direction. I'm looking forward to the movie when it comes to Santa Cruz. Thank you, Robert, for all the poetry, but especially for "Ripple." Thank you, Jerry, for all the music, but especially this one. And thank you, Mimi, for making the path I'm on, on the whole, a joy.

Short and sweet, As we all know how devastating September 11, 2001 was. I as a New york City Police Officer 1st responder that day and very lucky to tell this. I was standing next to the South tower (liberty and west streets) as it collapsed and not far from the north tower when that collapsed. About two weeks have passed and we were already doing 12 plus hour shifts, coming into work listening to WNEW FM I am not sure if it was Bertha or Touch of gray was playing when this karmer went through me and just settled everything that my mind and body was going through. I remember the smile on my face and how relaxed I was. That just seemed to help me through these tough times. Love the Grateful Dead and miss Jerry.. Thats my little story of a Dead head since 1972..

Music has changed the way I viewed the world. I got turned on to the dead when I went to college @UF in 1986. My first show was St Pete Fl in Oct 88. I was a bag of stress ready to explode. I remember sitting in a seat on the second night when they whipped out a Morning Dew. The music overtook my soul and I was awakened. It has been a long strange trip since then. Every time I hear the Dew it takes me back to that magical moment. I miss you Jeryy!

I grew up in a family that was very big on silence and mental and physical abuse. For the longest time I thought that was how families were; how they were supposed to be.Then, I heard "Touch of Grey" on the radio. I don't remember how old I was @ the time; I was very young. The only reason I remember it at all was for the chorus. I didn't know who the band was that sang the song. Heck, I didn't even know the name of the song but for years the words 'I will get by, I will survive' got me through numerous bad times. I was introduced to the Grateful Dead by a friend's older brother when I was 12 years old. He played tape after tape after tape. I was enraptured. I remember thinking @ the time that I thought that this band knew me. Knew my family. The song Hard Time was my life. I resolved to find tickets and go to a show. Three years later I was finally allowed to go to my first show. And I just fell in love. With everything. The people on the lot, the electricity of the show, the way I just closed my eyes and danced as I had never danced before. I finally felt loved for the first time, by people who I had never even met. My mind was blown away. I never realized before that first show how someone could love and be loved by someone you just met. I just kept dancing and crying and smiling so hard that my face hurt by the time the show ended. There are so many songs that have helped me throughout the years. Even to this day, when I listen to my old tapes or cd's, there is a song to help me through my day. Eventually, after I left home to find the family I had always wanted as a child but hadn't found until I learned of Grateful Dead tour, I came back to my blood family. I took my father to his first show in '94 and while he didn't get it as much as I had, we bonded over his 2 favorite songs: Brokedown Palace and Ripple. The Grateful Dead family that I have now, the experiences I had along the way, and the compassion and love that I learned will never be forgotten. The Grateful Dead gave me so much - more than I ever thought I'd ever have in my life. If not for them, I would never have met my son's father. Unfortunately my son never was able to see the Grateful Dead live, since he was conceived four years after Jerry's death. Even so, he still loves the music as much as both his father and I did and we take him to see Phil, Bobby, and Furthur whenever they come around. I wish I could have met Jerry before his passing to thank him for all the beauty that he supplied for my once miserable life. I love every one of the members of the Dead and I'd like to thank them for the hope that they instilled in a once little girl who is now a grown woman. Without the Grateful Dead, I know I would not know the happiness I have in my life today. Even in the roughest of times, I know all I need to do is turn on the radio, close my eyes and dance my bootie off to the sound of the boys. Thank you for the love, the memories, and the family that I have in my life this day. I will never forget any of the life lessons I learned from the best musicians in the world. The Grateful Dead got me through some of the roughest patches in my life and they are now getting me through my sobriety. To Phil, Bobby, Mickey, and Bobby - You are in my heart, thoughts, and prayers every day. Thank you for everything. I love you all. Janet

Ever get a horrible song stuck in your head? Something like "if you like pina coladas"? (sorry)When that happens to me, I always sing Uncle John's Band. Nothing can compete, and horrible song? Gone! Aaaah.

I went to my first show with my best friend bart back in 1977. In the yeas since, Bart and I went to many shows together. Often times we were joined by others, but every show I saw, I was with Bart. He passed away suddenly on 10/17/2005 http://web.mac.com/jmacenulty/iWeb/MacEnulty.com/Bart.html The following summer, Bobby and Ratdog came to St Louis, and in that show came one of the most powerful moments of my life. The story is here: http://web.mac.com/jmacenulty/iWeb/MacEnulty.com/Podcasts/1438D661-5001…

In the summer of 2007 I lost my partner of 3 1/2 years, very suddenly & unexpectedly. Having been married twice before, it was finding him that helped me find myself. While I had always wondered if I might be gay, it wasn't until I met him and over the course of our relationship that my eyes were opened to truely being comfortable with me being who I am and not living up to other people expectations of who or what I should be. It has been said before that previous relationships are just stepping stones on path towards true love. For that I will forever be grateful to him for making me a much better and happier person today. Leading up to the day he died, I had to go out of town for a conference. On my way to Atlanta where the conference was held, I spoke to him, and the last words he ever spoke to me before he hung up was that he loved me with all of his heart. The conference lasted over the course of three days. During that time, I tried repeatedly to get in touch with him to no avail. As each day passed without hearing from him, a sense of something bad had happened grew stronger. When I returned home, I went to his house and my greatest hear became reality. I found him at his home dead. The coroner had estimated that he had passed away sometime later that night on the day that I last had spoken to him. Although he had never gotten the opportunity to see the Grateful Dead, I did take him to a Phil Lesh & Friends concert at the Tower Theatre in Upper Darby, PA in 2006 which he enjoyed very much. At his funeral, I put together a powerpoint presentation of pictures from his life from childhood up to the most recent ones of us together and set it to the tune Brokedown Palace. It has been this song that has helped me find comfort and pay respect to a person I so dearly loved and miss. to this day, whenever I hear this song and the line,..."I love you more than words can tell"... I always think of him. And Jerry! My first show to see the Grateful Dead was 3/27/89 at the Omni in Atlanta, Ga. from that day on and still, I am so eternally grateful to Robert Hunter for composing such a beautiful lyrics, and to Jerry, Bobby, Phil, Mickey, Billy, Pigpen, and Donna & Keith, Brent, Vince and Bruce Hornsby for creating the music that I would describe as the soundtrack of my life. Thank you all for the numerous happy memories, joy, and comfort you have given me. I love you all!

Seems I can't post a link? The second one went to a slideshow podcast of my friend Bart's life. There was an accompanying text to explain the music selection. Here's the story: I went to see Bob Weir of the Grateful Dead with his other band , Ratdog perform at the Fox Theatre. Dawn went with me. This was the first time I’d gone to see anything like this since Bart died. That night the band performed my favorite Grateful Dead song “Mexicali Blues” and Dawn’s favorite Grateful Dead song “Box of Rain”. Neither one of us had ever heard the songs live before and during the songs we could feel Bart’s presence. I think it was his way of letting me know he’s OK. The capper was when we heard the encore song “Brokedown Palace”. Bart and I had listened to the song often, and I know how much he loved this song, and the meaning that it held. When Dawn and I heard it as the final song of the evening it left no doubt in our minds that Bart had sent us a message, and tears streamed down our faces during the song. The actual recording of that song is the music for this podcast. Podcast link

I have always been heavy, I don't remember a time when I was "normal" sized. And because of it I didn't go out much. I had a small circle of friends and that was what I knew. Then one day my friend said "I got us tickets to go see Steve Miller and the Dead". My knowledge of the dead was limited, but decided to go because I loved Steve Miller. It was the first time in my life I felt like I fit in. Then the boys walked out on stage and opened with Touch Of Grey. I felt like someone had just wrapped me in a big blanket of love. I was hooked at the moment. I knew that whenever I was at a dead show I wasn't the fat girl, I was just another deadhead, a friend, a sister. Over the years my memories of shows and music have helped me to survive whatever life throws my way. From Unbroken Chain, when my Dad died of prostate cancer, to Ripple when my mom died a year later. When my friend (who took me to the show) ask me to marry him it seemed only fitting that we have the dead at our wedding. Instead of Westminster Chimes my attendants made their way down the aisle to Jerry singing "How Sweet it is to be Loved by you." And although Unbroken Chain is a heavy song, the opening strumming is sweet and it was to that, that I made my way down the aisle. It was a beautiful day filled with Jerry and the boys and everyone else we loved. I wish I had found the dead sooner. I first saw them in 91' and saw them as often as I could. In June of 95' I ask my Dad if I could blow off a family reunion to see the dead, he said yes. He died July 8th and then a month later we lost Jerry. Their music will never die, it will live on for generations because it is the music that can fill a soul and make the journey of life a little easier.

Song, from its release resonated with me. In Nov. 2006 my mom passed away and I decided to have it played at her graveside, with rh's blessings on DNC. He said "Today the song is your Mom's." All who were there were moved by its playing. Powerful stuff.Two weeks later, my daughter got married. She had already chosed Brokedown as the Father/Daughter Dance before her Nana's funeral. Asked me if I wanted to go with it....Oh yeah....lots of happy tears.

Am I doing this right? I tried to put my story in and it never asked about my name or anything. I am not exactly literate on this thing so maybe I'm just a rere.

Funny that this came about today... Healing with the Dead.. I dont have alot of friends, and what friends I do have I cherish. Yesterday, one of them commited suicide... This guy, struggled with alcoholism and was a very talented guitar player. 10 months ago, he drug me kickin and screamin back into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I owe him dearly with my life and for helping me to achieve sobriety once again. Unfortunately his demons got the best of him. I have been listening to Brokedown Palace all morning. There are so many songs that I could have chosen, but this is one that myself and him related to the most during points in our sobriety. RIP David Zink, your pain has been removed. Give Jerry a hug !

I was born with the Grateful Dead playing and they have been a comfort o me ever since. I was named after Cassady my middle name being Cassady and last being Nehl (pronounced Neal). I've always turned to the dead for healing and they have been there through many a close calls with my Dad who was on the edge many times but has come through the fire and is good now. My best memories are seeing shows with my Dad and being connected to something so much greater than oneself. Today my Mom is having surgery on Cancer that has returned to her system. She is in Bend, Oregon and I am on Oahu and couldn't be there this time. I got up early this morning and sat at the computer and pushed play. Comes a Time came through and tears came down. Somehow you just know that its going to be okay when the music play. Just thankful that the band and the circle have pushed through for so long and always realized how much power and healing they offered to all of us. I got on the Original bus when it was parked in the swamp on Kesey's farm and have always been Grateful for the kindness that the circle has shown. One more Mission in the Rain, and I know that Mom will com through today as she goes under the knife. Thanks are an understatement, but they are all I've got.

wonderful to hear and remind me that we have a great bunch of folks hanging out here

The Dead have no doubt changed my life... For the past four years or so ive been on the road. travelling to many strange places, mostly where few people even think of going. Always travelling along, the dead have been my constant companions... At the start of each bus journey I play Ripple and Brokedown Palace, usually followed by Trukin' or Box of Rain... I have a thousand different memories from these songs...Some particularly memorable moments:Trippin on the great wall to a 74 space jam, to sitting on my backpack at a Indian train station, watching the rats move around furiously (I was listening to Ripple at the time, not Wharf Rat!) To listening to a brokedown palace deep in the himalaya's, knowing that soon I would have to return 'home' Long live the Dead and the feeling they offer us each and every time! :)

I have many memories good and bad contributed to music...I have XM in my semi and when I am in traffic and about ready to have road rage :) I can turn on the Dead channel and it relaxes me.

Very interesting timing for this movie. I hope I can get out of here soon and go it. Where is "here"? Here is UCSF in San Francisco, where I am currently days away from receiving a Bone Marrow Stem Cell transplant to fix my broken blood and marrow. I was diagnosed with AML (a form of Leukemia) back in November 2010. Since then, I've been in and out of the hospital getting all kinds of chemo and preparing for my "new birthday" which is in 5 days. When I'm not listening to Howard (no Stern bashers please, this post isn't intended to start a flame war) l listen to music constantly, and lately it's been 100% Grateful Dead. Either through my killer AudioEngine2 speakers in my room or while doing "laps" -- laps are when you walk with all your chemo setup around the hospital floor . It's my primary source of exercise, and I never walk without my iPod, QC-15s, and good ol' Jerr-bear. This week it's been some early '73 shows and the Fall '91 Boston run: I attended all 6 of those Boston shows -- man, I can't believe that was almost 20 years ago. Those '91 shows with Bruce were some of my favorite... I just loved what he did with grand piano and all the Jerry/Bruce interplay. As I walk, I usually air drum and bop my head which brings smiles to the nurses and other patients on the floor. Rather than re-tell everything here, I'll link to my blog which is here: http://jgwkia.com/ - means "jg will kick its ass," my motto since the very first day I was diagnosed with this bullsh*t. The short version is this: I will kick this thing in the ass, and the Dead will be my soundtrack and inspiration. If you're interested in following the story, c'mon over to the blog. Best wishes to everyone dealing with anything like this or any other hardships. Let there be songs to fill the air!

Not the fanciest of stories, I'm sure, but just after having a baby later in life I couldn't remember many nursery songs right away for those middle of the night moments. Instead I sang to her what I knew..Sugar Magnolia, Peggy O and Bobby McGee.

The phrase, "Please don't dominate the rap, Jack, if you've got nuthin' new to say" has ended more than one pointless, circular argument.

For me Scarlet Begonias into Fire on the Mountain have been the songs that can take me away from all thats bothering me. It was played at the first show I saw and from then on it never failed to bring a smile to my face. Jerry's playing in these songs, especially the transition between them has the power to realign me and put me back onto the road to happiness.

I really never expected to connect the Dead with my faith, but God has a way of making surprising connections! Upon my first of 3 divorces, I became alienated from the church which abandoned me in my time of need. During my second marriage, I became a devoted Deadhead, and my husband and I enjoyed following the band on their East Coast tours. I stupidly became involved with another very controlling and manipulative man, ended my dream-marriage, and married #3. When he forced me out 6 months later, I felt like a complete failure at life (not an easy thing to face for a previously very successful over-achiever). During the months that followed, my faith and the church became more important than ever to me. This time, it embraced and cared for me and taught me the meaning of grace. While driving to church one week, I heard "I Will Take You Home" (which my father and I had danced to at my 2nd wedding), and I had the most incredible feeling come over me. There's an amazing line in the song..."You can't get lost when you're always found." Well, I had sure felt hopelessly lost and ashamed of my actions for quite a while. When I heard this, I felt a profound sense of comfort and healing. I realized that God was speaking to me and reminding me that I can never be lost from God's embrace. I'm guessing that not many "church" people would appreciate this connection, but it was incredibly real and very powerful for me. I still love the Dead. And I still love God. And I'm thankful for both!

The Dead have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember and will always be. My father was an photographer by trade and a mellow gypsy soul. So much so that I was originally named Freedom Lily. My dad truly disappeared for about 8 years, he would follow the Dead from venue to venue. He gave me some stellar advice as a teen; "...When all the cards are down, there's nothing left to see, There's just the pavement left and broken dreams. In the end there's still that song comes cryin' like the wind. Down every lonely street that's ever been Stella blue. Stella blue...." And then said he wished he could rename me. He also told me to never spit into the wind, don't pull the mask of the old lone ranger .... That being said, when I need to feel that need, that pull, to have a touchstone of where my journey began, to remember who I am and that I am my fathers daughter... I put in a CD... and I remember. The day Jerry died, I called him and he told me to remember the day that the music really died.

In 1997 I found out that my wife had been unfaithful and I was completely shattered. I remember stumbling around the house in a complete daze, unable to function, unable to think, just unable. And somehow I found myself at my stereo and ended up spinning Dicks Picks # 5 - Oakland 12/16/79. And when I heard Looks Like Rain it just stopped me, and I played it again and again and again and again. And it said to me, whoa, love trouble and pain to be sure, but just knowing that someone else had been there, understood, and survived to sing those feelings helped me hold it together. For a long time I had such mixed emotions hearing that song - it always took me right back to that place of pain, but also felt like a celebration of survival. 14 years later I'm sorry to say we didn't make it as a couple; we staggered on for another 11 years, split up, managed to remain good friends. And funny, just a couple of days ago a friend asked me for a copy of 4/14/72 from Copenhagen - wanted to hear Pigpen's Who Do You Love. So of course I had to spin the show - hadn't listened to it for years. And there it was - Looks Like Rain - but with Jerry on pedal steel! Sweet! And I noticed how even though it reminded me of that hard hard time, and I remembered the pain, its a memory now, not a body blow. I've let go and moved on. But I will always be grateful for the band somehow finding its way to me exactly when I really needed help, and will always try to pass that on.

Hi, I just wanted to let everyone know that the Dead's music has helped me through the two most horrible times of my life - the death of my dad, 24 years ago, and my mom's death in December of last year. You can't help but feel good when listening to the Dead. I've been a Deadhead for 36 years and counting now. Thank you, and keep on' truckin'!

So, let's see. I haven't read everybody's posts but I could relate to tthunt. My father died in January and I was at the Wallingford show as well. He's Gone was definitely the highlight for me (great show in general! Dark hollow, Fire, etc.). I also caught the second night at the Best Buy and was psyched for the Box of Rain and Black Peter in terms of my continued grief over my father's death. I also went to my first Wharf Rats meeting that night. I've had a "Let Go and Let Jerry" sticker on my car for a year or so and have been in recovery for 6 years. I got 'on-the-bus' in 1984 and saw about 50 shows between '85 and '90. I am a musician myself and have thought about going into music therapy. I've studied music and the brain (took a Music Perception & Cognition course a few years ago), read Sachs and Levitin, etc. and I absolutely believe in the healing power of music. There really is nothing like it. Thanks Phil and Bob and all of you! I still miss Jerry but this Furthur line-up has been doing justice to his wonderful tunes and I appreciate it for sure.

This is more of a non-coincidence coincidence type of situation. My best friend at the University of Bridgeport in Bridgeport Connecticut, Lenny Massa, was turned onto the Dead at the 3/26/87 show in Hartford CT at the civic center. There is something so magical about seeing a "newbie" get it at a show. Lenny played bass in a band so he had a certain affinity for Phil and at a greensboro show in 88, he "became one with Mr. Lesh' and was hooked to the sounds like someone touring his whole life. Such good times in our lives and the lives of the group we toured with. I will never forget those days, nor would I have ever done it differently. Pure bliss! On September 29th, 1989, Lenny was shot and killed in a senseless crime that should never have happened. I, along with countless others, were devestated. The music of the Grateful Dead was a huge part of my life at that time (and most certainly still is). BEing a bit of a statistics geek, I referenced Duprees Diamond News (before the ease of the internet) and found out that on the night of September 29th, 1989, the band broke out for the first time since 4/26/70 Death Don't Have No Mercy. I was speechless. Having mail order tickets for a good part of the rest of the tour, my two next show's were 10/11 and 10/12/89 at the Byrne Arena. At the first show, the Althea spoke to me as one of Lenny's favorite lines in any dead song was the Shakespere reference of "sleeping at perchance to dream". Lenny was a dreamer and connected to things and people on levels most could not imagine. I felt a sense of his being during this show and that brought me great comfort. The next night, the 12th, the boys played a soulful and (for me and my friends) a heartwrenching He's Gone. I remember literally sobbing as I remembered the colorful life of my friend. The fact that he was gone and nothing was gonna bring him back was one of the saddest realities I had ever know up to that point in my life. That song made me cry, but it also began the lengthy healing process that is still not complete, but is helped daily through the songs I hear and the thoughts they invoke.

It's a strange one, but New Speedway Boogie has really been helping me get over my divorce last fall. I took it extremely rough for the first few months since it pretty much hit me out of nowhere. Eventually knowing that I needed to get out of my funk I naturally turned to music. Lots of blues for sure, but always the Dead too - and in particular New Speedway. I often found myself reciting the 'One way or another ... this darkness got to give' portion or even just replaying it in my head, over and over. Especially the mornings I just didn't want to leave the house. Just a little calming reassurance I suppose, but it helped and still does. And of course letting the band take me away for anywhere from 5 minutes to 2-3 hours is always a welcome escape from the everyday as well.

we were getting ready to go on tour back in '92 ( i think) and got into s real bad car accident right before tour. i broke my back and also a femur. the other folks in the bus got banged up too. needless to say i missed almost all of the tour. however, i did convince my doctor to grant permission to goe see the boys at a hometown show. i was in a body cast that wrapped my entire torso and went down to my knee. a good friend scored some box seats so i could be in relative "comfort". that night i shook my head for all it was worth surrounded by good friends and the show was great. the entire evening i was visualizing a new spine and a new femur. that put me on the path to good healing. i am happy to say that i healed as well as i could expect. the dead continue to heal me to this day. i am convinced that the music of the grateful dead can heal the whole world.

So there I am, having seriously fallen out with one of my closest pals over a woman (and I am definitely the one at fault), when we realise that before the stuff hit the fan we bought two tickets to see the Dead at the Rainbow in London.I rang him. And in a moment of clarity we put the anger and difficulty behind us to go and see our heroes, because things may come and things may go, but... THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT!!! They were wonderful. And although we did lose our friendship, for that one night, all the hurt and pain got put on hold...

I am writing in memory of my husband Hank who passed away on October 6, 2010. In the winter of 2007 he was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and acute kidney failure. This was a result of exposure to Agent Orange while he served in Vietnam 1969-70. The one thing that kept him going the last year of his life was SIRIUS Radio, of course The Grateful Dead channel. He especially enjoyed hearing shows that we had attended.The last few months he was confined to a wheel chair. He decided to start a blog about his illness. This was very gratifying to him. His sign off was, "I will get by, I will survive!" Touch of Grey was the perfect song for him. I know he is in a better place right now but please don't forget our Vietnam Vets. There are so many of them that are now being diagnosed with illnesses due to Agent Orange exposure. These soldiers were never given the respect they deserved and they are still suffering from that awful war. Now, I will get by, I will survive.

I was kind of messed up when I was in my late teens. Not terribly unusual, but I ended up living in a pretty violent cult. When I was finally able to get out of there, I rode an old motorcycle from Appalachia to the Haight Ashbury. There had been a lot of trauma and I was basically "drifting too far from shore"... Hanging out with my friends in the Haight, I started living in the Dead Head scene & eventually started to go to shows. I think a lot of people ended up in SF, on Dead tour as more of a countercultural change in consciousness. For me, life had been rather, odd. Land of the free & home of the Dead was the only place that was remotely welcoming. Turn on, Tune in, Relax & stay a while... My first live Grateful Dead song was "Feel Like A Stranger" in the SF Civic on a New Year's run. Later, when I had integrated well into the Dead Head lifestyle, I was able to integrate myself & really overcome a lot of the harm from PTSD I had been accustomed to in my normless state on anomie. I am forever Grateful for the Dead. Next: On the road with our grandson... In a rather special parking lot, far away from cares, Bob Weir said to me "The experiment continues"... I am a Dead Head! Thank you!

Our son, Zachary, went to shows with us from the time he was born in 1983 until he was 10 yrs.old in 1993. We had a blast dancing and singing to all the songs. That all came to an abrupt end when on July 15, 1993 he was murdered by a convicted child molester in our neighborhood in Cloverdale, Indiana. The one thing that really pulled our family out of a total funk, and still does, is listening to The Grateful Dead. The band is such a healing inspiration to us now and forever will be. I can still see his beautiful face beaming with a huge smile and dancing and twirling about. Thank you so much for those wonderful memories.....I am forever grateful...<3

This topic is almost too big to discuss. The Dead have contributed to my personal healing from the moment I discovered them until the present and I 'm sure they will continue to heal me in the future. I found the Dead at a very difficult time in my life and the music and the scene saved my sanity, if not my life! One particularly dramatic instance of specific healing occurred in 1993 at RFK stadium. My father committed suicide in 1977 and I understandably had a great deal of anger at him. I attended the show with my 15 year old son. During the first set the band played "When I Paint My Masterpiece" in the first set, and some of the lyrics from the song made me start thinking about my Dad. The next song they played was "Birdsong". It had been a clear day but clouds had begun to roll in toward the end of the first set. During "Birdsong" my son turned to me and said, "Look there's a face in the clouds!" I looked up and saw a very distinct face in the clouds and as Jerry sang "Tell me all that you know and I'll show you snow and rain" a few raindrops fell on my cheek. I was convinced my Dad was there and we reconciled during that song. I came to accept my Dad as a human being who had loved me as best he could in view of his clinical depression. The second set confirmed the reality of this experience as the band opened with "Iko Iko", my son's favorite song! Three generations were there together embracing each other through the music! I have a younger son with autism who is now 14. I have recounted here on other forums how important the music has been to our bonding and his learning to relate to the world. When he sang "you know our love will not fade away" at the top of his lungs at the Furthur show at the Mann Center last summer and started talking to strangers about the show ("strangers stopping strangers just to shake their hand"), I saw clearly how much the music and the scene has healed him! As stated earlier, this is only a snapshot of all the healing this music has brought to me and my family! "Once in awhile you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right"!

Like some others have written, my baby son wouldn't go to sleep unless we put on American Beauty. But when he was four months old, we noticed that my son was not going through his developmental milestones. After many visits to doctors and labs all over the country, we discovered that our son has Pelizaeus Merzbacher Disease, a very rare disorder that affects the central nervous system. Now at twelve, my son still cannot walk or talk, but he still loves to listen to the Dead with his daddy. Since his diagnosis, the lyrics of "Attics of My Mind" have taken on new meaning for me because he may not have a "voice to sing" or "ears to hear" or "wings to fly," but I continue my prayer for the "dream of mine" that he will one day be healed.

Almost three years ago I was in the hospital for 21 days while undergoing a Stem Cell Transplant for treatment of my cancer. Those were very strange days and nights that were made that much shorter by having my iPod and speakers that allowed me to play my Dead songs throughout the day and night as my body gained back it's strength. It was very peaceful to just be laying there (some days I couldn't do much else) and listening to the music. Sometimes tears of joy were mixed in with the music and other times it was tears of fear. Gerry, Phil and the crew got me through it.

Never could reach it just slipped away But I TRY!!! The End.

Sorry for the tpyo!