Grateful Dead

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where to start.....it was jamcruise 9 where the music energy was flowing....looking out at the water i put my hand on my stomach and said to myself "what if i have cancer, how would i live my life" - a strange thought for me.....so i came home and made doctor appointments-- my brother had died at age 47 within weeks of being diagnosed with a strange form of nueroendocrine colon cancer.........so i had a colonoscopy-- all went well, so i said to myself "what a nutty thought i had on the ship".......but "when life looks like easy street there is danger at your door "........on febuary 18 i went for a routine GYN exam and everything went nuts....they sent me for ultrasound,suspecting ovarian cancer....by Monday i was all set for surgery at Sloan Kettering....they thought all would be ok but on march 1st, after, as they called it, the big surgery, the pathology came back as 3 individual primary cancers- ovarian,fallopian tube, endometrial - i was told Sloan had never seen any case like this and "we are in unchartered territory"........the good news was all were stage 1, all 53 lymph nodes they removed were clean (thank you Jerry)......the docs were shocked by the early detection for all 3 (another rare event), which would not have happened if not for my crazy thought on jamcruise - "once in awhile you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right"....... so the Furthur tour was supposed to start for me march 8 in wallingford- but it was not possible......i had so much love and "help on the way" to get me to a show...my friends succeeded in getting me to the best buy on march 12-- "just one thing i got to say, i need a miracle every day"........lots of pain, hadn't even sat for any length of time until that night, the magic of the show started my healing as nothing else could......i ended up going to 10 shows with a lot of "help on the way" from my wonderful friends who rallied around me.....i cry when i think of all the love and support this Dead community has to give..........i received so many amazing answers during the music but most of all, it took my fear and turned it into gratitude-- i cry a lot because i am so grateful to Jerry and the Grateful Dead, The Dead, Phil and Friends, and Furthur.....don't know how i would have made it through...........on march 30th 2011, 4 weeks after "the big surgery" i went to Sloan for follow up and my doc said she has never seen such healing....she said she wanted to take a photo of me to use as a poster for the hospital; that i made her job as an oncologist worthwhile......i am now facing chemo and radiation, trying to figure out dates so i don't miss summer tour because "the music never stopped", and i know "i will survive" .......at the tower on tues. march 22, 2 days before my birthday, i go in early to avoid the crowd and 3 guys are sitting in front of me...one is telling his friend " my wife just finished chemo and radiation" and he was excited that she was coming next night- i told him i was going to be facing the same thing and he turns around, points his finger and says"you are going to make it, you will survive, you will have a sense of humor,you will lose your hair and put smiley stickers on your scalp, but you will make it.....that helped reduce my terror more than i can say....don't know who that Deadhead is but i can't thank him enough....i keep remembering his words, you will make it, you will survive.......thank you to all -- "life may be sweeter for this, i don't know....see how it feels in the end".......we are all so lucky to be a part of this community........

Before this show I was a shy, lonely, virginal college kid. I had very low self esteem, basically didn't like myself very much. Had never really dated, and to my shame never slept with a woman. Then a 'tab' and Estimated. It felt like a mental eggshell cracked open and I screamed "I LOVE MYSELF!!", tears of joy, danced my face right off of my head. True catharsis Two days later I asked a girl I liked to my room. She sweetly and kindly made love to me, astonished Id never done this before. We dated and went to several Shows together 250 Shows later I'm still a Deadhead and while I miss Jerry keep seeing the "Boys" and experiencing the joy of the music and the community, even those younguns who could be my grandchildren. Thanks Grateful Dead for changing my life forever.

I was a teenager working, dealing with a mother dying of cancer, and going to school. Touch of Grey made an impression and helped me through many a tough day. There is good and bad in life(every silver lining's got a touch of grey). Knowing I would survive and get by and could sing those lyrics loudly and proudly helped me get through each and every day! Thank you to the Dead for making that and many other fabulous songs with meaning! Also loved, loved, loved the movie! I have seen it twice already! Connection and survival, no matter what!