Grateful Dead

dead.net the official site

brokedown palace sat. 9-midnight mountain time KAFM Grand Junction, ColoradoMy first job was at Alpine Valley Music Theatre in Wisconsin. Anyone who has been around awhile knows of the legendary shows of the late eighties. I was blown away by the people i met during those shows and my life as a depressed, suicidal teenager was changed for the better as i ran away from home and got on the bus. I don't think any of the people that helped me out along the way knew they had saved my life. It wasn't a song but the scene that saved me. Now, fast foward to the present day. Just as my wife of ten years was filing for divorced, the radio station i am a programmer at asked me to join the crew of an on going Grateful Dead show that had been on air for over ten years. The same music that brought the people together who saved me has now saved me once again. I am privilaged and honored to share my collection of shows with the liseners of my local community radio station ever Saturday night. During that three hour show, the darkness of my failed marriage and the fact i rarely see my children and all the pain involved with it all goes away for a brief moment and i am able to find the strength to live another week. I even had David Gans on my show the other night. I love this music that brings all together but more importantly, it feels like the music always loves me back. " Row Jimmy Row, gonna get there, i don't know....." " a broken heart don't feel so bad, ain't got half of what you thought you had......"

When I was a child, I loved to dance. However, life happened and I lost my way and I forgot how. After I was turned onto the Dead three years ago, I remembered how much I loved to let go and lose myself in the music. Thanks Jerry!

On August 7, 2004, a Saturday morning, I lost my father to cancer. My world had just been ripped out from under me, and I was reeling. It all seemed too surreal and I needed an escape. I went upstairs and tried to figure out what was going ...on. Music has always been a healing force with me, and today needed something special. I do not remember just what show it was, probably something from '73 or '74, but as the crowd cheer came up around me and the tinkling tuning began I was slowly losing the utter pain and anguish that had engulfed my morning. The rolling intro to Jack Straw sent chills down my spine and I remembered that after my friend had passed a year earlier I had gone to the Dead for help also. My dad had been there and understood that I needed to be alone with my thoughts and music. Now, this same thing was happening and the similarities were insane. Slowly as the music swept over me, I began to think of the good times, the smiles the adventures, instead of thinking of the negative, the sadness...it truly was a magical experience. I remember watching a bumble bee alighting on a branch of a tree, just outside the window I was gazing out of, and it seemed to be "dancing" to the music, flying in circles, darting in and out of sight. I would almost forget about it, then quietly the bee would come back to mind...everything seemed so peaceful and calm. After an hour or so, as the first set slowly came to an end, I was ready to go back and face the world. Friends and family began to arrive and I was ok. Two days later, as I took a walk outside the funeral home, needing to get a breath of air during the wake, I realized the date and just where I was standing. The green across from me was the same green that 9 years to the day earlier I stood, young and upset for one of the hundreds of spontaneous gatherings for Jerry on August 9, 1995. The memories all came flooding back, and I couldn't help but smile. There will be sad times and things will be hard again, that is just life. However, I know just what I can do to take the stress, the pain, all the sorrow away, even if just for a brief moment in time. Life is a complex amalgam of pain and light, tears and joy, and if while traveling along I get confused I know can just listen to the music play. r.i.p Dad.